Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. I also moved right back out, after I caught him sexting one of his coworkers just a few hours later. FML
Today, my boyfriend moved. He moved from my room... to my housemate's room. FML
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, after uprooting my life to help my boyfriend, I realized I receive more affection from my landlord's dog than I have from my boyfriend since I've moved here. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I moved into our own house. He proceeded to invite his parents to stay for the week. The same parents we've lived with for the past 5 years. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me home to have dinner with his parents. I couldn’t eat a single bite after watching his mom let her three dogs taste all the food off her hands, while she also licked her own fingers while cooking. Later on, he dumped me for being rude and “too high maintenance." FML
Today, my boyfriend threw a fit because I "still" live with my mother at age 30. I bought her an apartment in my building and hired a live-in nurse because she is senile and permanently bedridden. FML
Today, my boyfriend let me know he wanted me to leave by repeatedly jabbing me with my car keys. FML
Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
naturallyfuck 17
Well I wouldn't let you touch my apple jacks either
nkb94 18
Well shit. I hope he wasn't serious.
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Comments (162)
mistress_paz 30
That's scary. What would he do if you did something else that pissed him off? Try to find somewhere else to live soon.
SmittyJA24 26
You really picked a winner. Consider getting a place of your own? Then you won't have to worry about body mutilation if you touch his beloved ******* Apple Jacks!!
TyJaxShifter 8
Solution: Buy your own Apple Jack's To OP: I hope you have a talk with him and sort it all out. To the rest of you here on FML: I am very surprised and a little disappointed that no one used the opportunity to make a joke about how cereal OP's BF takes his AJ's. Maybe he is just crying over spilt milk ?
CrazyManNo9 29
Anyone that would even say such a hurtful thing wouldn't think twice before abusing you. You should leave.
madslurpee 8
Don't **** with his apple jacks.
NH_Freelancer 19
Wow... Well, at least you know where his priorities are, and they obviously aren't with you! I think it's time you found someone who finds you more important than a box of cereal.
my2centsworth 15
So stay away from the apple jacks. Cereal is serious business.
dougschoonmaker 20
I think he's serious? I don't know. I can't tell. But all I know is that I wouldn't let no one touch my apple jacks
Abhinow 7
thats extremely degenerate comment on ur bf part. he doesnt respect as a person. i dont normally say that.. but dump his misogynist ass
cappellaaa 23
lmao that's a bit extreme