Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at church, I sneezed suddenly and messily into my hand just as the priest asked us to stand and greet our neighbors with a handshake. FML
Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML
Today, my raving lunatic mother screamed at me for being "disrespectful", threatened to not pay for my college, swore at me, and accused me of having multiple personality disorder, all in rapid succession. This was provoked by me sneezing. FML
Today, my annoying colleague gasped, wrapped her arms around herself, started sweating, and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. They accused me of "setting her off", when I blurted out, "Sorry, she gets panic attacks." All I did was say the word "abortion." FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, I sneezed so bad in public that I dropped my coffee, kicked it while trying to catch it, and watched it slide dramatically across the floor into someone’s shoe. They gasped like I'd committed a crime. I just whispered, “Sorry” and fled. FML
Today, I sneezed while getting my keys from my pocket on the way to my front door, dropped them into a storm drain, and then had to explain to my landlord that my reason for needing the spare key was "seasonal allergies." FML
Today, I sneezed after watching a commercial involving dust. FML
Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML
Today, I had to abandon my shopping after a Covidiot directly sneezed all over it. He took his mask off because he was about to sneeze. FML
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Top comments
Xarin 0
Y'know, I'm Christian, and I love Jesus, and all that... But I just can't stand people like that...ugh
perfectwinds 0
Haha I love hyper religious customers. When one found out I was pregnant she literally reached across the desk, grabbed my head, and said "GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR BABY!" really loud. I couldn't stop laughing after she left.
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Comments (151)
bennylove 0
What a nutjob. I'm an Obama fan and I realize people are bound to disagree with some of his policies and views, but some of these people are just shocking.
alice22_fml 0
People who cry "fake!" all the time must be shut-ins or something. The world is overrun with crazy people.
k_li 0
#15, what do you say when someone sneezes? GOD BLESS YOU which apparently she used to launch into her little jesus spiel I hope to Gawd she had at least a few freudian slips in thar
amykillswitch 0
oh those sweet old elderly ladies...
alex_vik 1
Ok, I'm a religious man, but she is just insane... ...also, why are a bunch of Christians so against Obama? I mean, I'm a pretty devout Christian, but if we were to call anyone the anti-Christ, I would've thought for sure it would be Dubya.
JohnFR33M4N 0
Dear #16, We made tazers and/or guns for a reason. LOVE, (insert name)
xyz8910 0
okay... how did sneezing cause this outburst? and I understand that you say bless you... but seriously? this customer needs to realize when it's the right time to talk about things like this....
newguy_fml 0
this is a nice piece of bullshit right here. Ten minutes about how the changing weather is a sign of a returning Jesus due to abortion rates and Obama?
mrhahn530 0
These people give us christians a bad rep...
Stealthclaws 16
Sorry.... I know how that feels :/
raginazn_67 0
Lol I agree with 27. This isn't much of an FML, but its definitely pretty funny.