By gassygirlfriend - United States - Nampa Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 32961 You deserved it 5103 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nipman - United States Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML I agree, your life sucks 41096 You deserved it 3840 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By trooper93 - Canada Today, I received a letter saying that I was accepted into university and that I qualified for a number of scholarships. Too bad an equivalent sum of money will be spent fixing the car I hit, after spinning out on ice, whilst driving home from said university. FML I agree, your life sucks 26854 You deserved it 4828 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Cadillac Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered "Fucking tryhard." FML I agree, your life sucks 25704 You deserved it 3390 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bathtime - United States Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML I agree, your life sucks 30817 You deserved it 4186 167 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By beforegirl - Australia Today, I discovered I am the "before picture" in an internet weight loss advert. FML I agree, your life sucks 47438 You deserved it 8956 199 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, the motorway I usually use was closed off due to a major car accident. With no way off the freeway, my trip took three times longer than usual. I lost control of my bladder mid-way. FML I agree, your life sucks 29289 You deserved it 5574 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MakeMyDay_27 - United States Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML I agree, your life sucks 43864 You deserved it 5605 239 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lottielondon - United Kingdom Today, my garage was flooded. Everything was ruined. My garage also happens to be my study, in which my entire art coursework was drying. My exam is tomorrow and all I have to hand in is a pile of mushy paper. FML I agree, your life sucks 35959 You deserved it 3742 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By observant - United States Today, my mom was giving me a long lecture about being aware of my surroundings, because you never know what's out there. While she was talking, I noticed a drug deal going down in the Walmart parking lot. She didn't notice. FML I agree, your life sucks 25846 You deserved it 2392 146 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By author - United States - Sicklerville Today, I was at the fish store asking if they were hiring. My stepdad decided to humiliate me by screaming at them repeatedly that I'm a good person and that I deserve the job. FML I agree, your life sucks 40882 You deserved it 3714 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States Today, I discovered that my new landlords must meet and approve guests of mine before they come over, and guests are not allowed when they aren't home or past 11pm. I'm 25 years old and just moved out of my parents' home to get away from my controlling mother. FML I agree, your life sucks 31615 You deserved it 4060 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jojo - United States Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad. I decided to speed to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML I agree, your life sucks 61432 You deserved it 12822 120 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Atwater Today, I had to grab a large kitchen knife from my son, after I heard him convince his friend to join him in cutting off his finger, so they could "be assassins like Ezio." FML I agree, your life sucks 26560 You deserved it 3077 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Raleigh Today, I caught a coworker at my new job staring at my chest. Trying not to rock the boat, I took him aside and asked him to stop. He insisted he was just trying to read my shirt. Our company uniforms don't have writing on them. FML I agree, your life sucks 27197 You deserved it 3007 168 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tony - United States Today, I was talking to my mom about who I wanted to ask to prom. I told her the names of the girls I was thinking of asking and she replied, "They'll say no, but you can always go with one of your cousins." FML I agree, your life sucks 64123 You deserved it 3275 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By britney - Canada Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, thats she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML I agree, your life sucks 23054 You deserved it 5563 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dirtyswede - United Kingdom Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this swedish girl I met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face. FML I agree, your life sucks 54871 You deserved it 22747 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Crapper. - United States - Fayetteville Today, I'm a janitor at a middle school. Someone took a poo and placed it on the sink. FML I agree, your life sucks 11083 You deserved it 718 39 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FarisH - Jordan Today, I went to my orthodontist where I was informed that I'll going to the prom, to my brother's wedding, and maybe to university with braces in my mouth. FML I agree, your life sucks 31017 You deserved it 9450 375 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I found out through one of my friends that my boyfriend cheated on me. He says it doesn't count as cheating because he couldn't get it up. FML I agree, your life sucks 54535 You deserved it 4636 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By vibratorgirl - United States Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML I agree, your life sucks 23020 You deserved it 73689 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lindsay Unflattered Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML I agree, your life sucks 1672 You deserved it 122 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notgettingany - United States Today, is my daughter's first birthday. Today also marks 1 year and 9 months since I last had sex with my wife. FML I agree, your life sucks 43620 You deserved it 4996 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notyourmummy - United Kingdom - Ryde Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML I agree, your life sucks 30703 You deserved it 3298 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Thorin - United Kingdom Today, I cut myself deeply with an expensive razor that advertised it's impossible to cut yourself with. Twice. Guess I always was an overachiever. FML I agree, your life sucks 31353 You deserved it 6644 171 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jello - United States Today, I went to have dessert with my boyfriend. We ordered some Jello. I said that I loved Jello because it is so fun and jiggly. My boyfriend said, "Like you. Except the fun part". FML I agree, your life sucks 50745 You deserved it 5890 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LukeSkywalker - United States Today, after pouring my heart out to my girlfriend of 4 years through a speech that took me 3 weeks to write, and then proposing, she responded, "Eh, why not." FML I agree, your life sucks 38200 You deserved it 4624 230 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By croleymd - United States Today, I found my company car wrecked in a ditch. Apparently, leaving it parked on an icy hill all night was a bad idea. I have to pick up my manager from the airport. FML I agree, your life sucks 8876 You deserved it 27245 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lonely girl - United States Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML I agree, your life sucks 46851 You deserved it 4352 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - El Cajon Today, I woke up to find that my parents had replaced my regular alarm clock with a walking one that requires you to get up and find it. The alarm was set to 5:00AM, which would have been fine if it wasn't the weekend. FML I agree, your life sucks 37136 You deserved it 3867 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Somebody - 19/8/2020 17:01 Thanks for nothing Today, my mother-in-law came over. Probably thinking that the needles in our fridge were steroids, and wanting to do the right thing, she took them to throw them away. I'm diabetic, and they were my insulin. I went into shock after she left and had to go to the hospital. FML I agree, your life sucks 2442 You deserved it 121 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sadness1992 - United States - San Diego Today, my girlfriend decided to invite her best friend over for a threesome. This would've been the best day ever, had I not been at work while it was taking place. FML I agree, your life sucks 42825 You deserved it 4203 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - France Today, my two favorite things in the world are Pizza and Beer... I now discover I have Celiac and can't have either. FML I agree, your life sucks 28776 You deserved it 3281 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By facepalm Today, my son won’t stop crying, all because I told him he couldn’t go trick-or-treating in April. FML I agree, your life sucks 1759 You deserved it 212 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 31/1/2021 02:01 Eco-friendly Today, my colleague heated 1,5 liters of water, waited visibly impatient the several minutes it took to boil, made himself one cup of tea, then poured the rest down the drain. Maximum amount of time and energy wasted in one go? Check. FML I agree, your life sucks 769 You deserved it 88 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, one of my good friends confided in me about the affair she is having with our boss. She'd been sleeping with him for 3 months and told me they were in love, but it had to be kept quiet due to our company's very strict anti-fraternization policy . I'd been secretly seeing him all year. FML I agree, your life sucks 58128 You deserved it 23764 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SlappyMcGee - United States Today, I was talking to a hot girl at the bus stop. She seemed interested in me and I was feeling a connection forming. When the bus came, I offered to let her board first, but she said it "wasn't her bus" and said goodbye. Later, I realized I'd spent 20 minutes making moves on a prostitute. FML I agree, your life sucks 22145 You deserved it 7153 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Shreveport Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML I agree, your life sucks 43497 You deserved it 9126 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By R2A8 - Kenya Today, after I got lectured about not replying on the family group chat, I decided to wish everyone a good morning. No one responded. FML I agree, your life sucks 1980 You deserved it 273 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Drunk hookup ends with a… bang Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML I agree, your life sucks 1394 You deserved it 512 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By StickyPickles | 33 #6287309 - Sunday 10 May 2015 19:03 Now that's love. Send a private message 416 4 Reply
By Cassandra2015 | 21 #6287327 - Sunday 10 May 2015 19:13 your a dedicated spooner . Send a private message 246 9 Reply
By StickyPickles | 33 #6287309 - Sunday 10 May 2015 19:03 Now that's love. Send a private message 416 4 Reply
Reply SlimDanny | 15 #6287370 - Sunday 10 May 2015 19:38 If that isn't romance I don't know what is. Send a private message 55 1 Reply
Reply lnheritance | 19 #6287416 - Sunday 10 May 2015 20:39 You can even smell the dedication that OP transpired. It's cute! Send a private message 14 2 Reply
Reply Jason89 | 14 #6287519 - Sunday 10 May 2015 23:19 i agree #1 ... plus on facebook i saw a thing where smelling farts cure cancer ... she is saving his life lol Send a private message 14 1 Reply
Reply jazman195 | 20 #6287648 - Monday 11 May 2015 1:36 Did my bf write this? Because supposedly I do this to him lol Send a private message 3 21 Reply
Reply Polynomial | 28 #6287802 - Monday 11 May 2015 5:06 I think most women do. My gf used to fall asleep on my couch, and my roommate and I would laugh out loud every time she blasted off. Send a private message 8 5 Reply
Reply shemademedoit | 20 #6287866 - Monday 11 May 2015 6:51 that's love in the air Send a private message 6 0 Reply
By baileybutler | 16 #6287310 - Sunday 10 May 2015 19:04 Well, isn't that cute Send a private message 101 4 Reply
Reply eatmor2 | 9 #6287572 - Monday 11 May 2015 0:26 That is the antithesis of cute Send a private message 2 16 Reply
Reply praesidiem | 16 #6287815 - Monday 11 May 2015 5:17 You are the antithesis of fun at parties #80 Send a private message 16 3 Reply
Reply giantsfan2010 | 23 #6287403 - Sunday 10 May 2015 20:13 Op might need that mask in your profile picture! Send a private message 42 0 Reply
By footballguy55 | 9 #6287312 - Sunday 10 May 2015 19:05 Don't worry about that. Years from now, you'll look back on it and have a good laugh! Send a private message 77 3 Reply
By Jacksparrow72 | 21 #6287314 - Sunday 10 May 2015 19:07 She's got ya gassed up. Send a private message 32 2 Reply
By PraparAnis | 19 #6287316 - Sunday 10 May 2015 19:08 And you didn't move because...? Send a private message 80 8 Reply
Reply igive | 28 #6287638 - Monday 11 May 2015 1:20 He was being a gentleman. Send a private message 33 1 Reply
Reply benjamn | 21 #6287806 - Monday 11 May 2015 5:07 Being a gentleman is moving and not waking her. However having great fun at her expense later on is required. Send a private message 8 2 Reply
Reply RedPillSucks | 31 #6287811 - Monday 11 May 2015 5:13 He should have plugged that hole with something Send a private message 8 19 Reply
By hunterluv1 | 20 #6287318 - Sunday 10 May 2015 19:08 it's not really like they can control it. I just move and then make fun of my boyfriend the next morning when that happens. just laugh about it later! Send a private message 58 3 Reply
By hailhydra | 6 #6287321 - Sunday 10 May 2015 19:09 cute and gross at the same time. should've carefully moved bro Send a private message 30 7 Reply
By kavyashahs | 16 #6287322 - Sunday 10 May 2015 19:09 True love hommie. Send a private message 30 1 Reply
By nonsensical | 26 #6287323 - Sunday 10 May 2015 19:09 Did those vibrations from her ass against your manhood have any erotic effect on you? Just curious. (You did last 15 minutes...) 19 58 Reply
Reply VeganDarkLight | 31 #6287365 - Sunday 10 May 2015 19:33 There was actually an FML about a guy who came when his girlfriend farted while sitting on his lap some time ago. Send a private message 60 1 Reply
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 432 You deserved it 140 3 Comments
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML I agree, your life sucks 436 You deserved it 179 4 Comments