Health: Today, my wife took me to Taco Bell for the first time. I said,...

By Jimseagoon - 03/09/2018 20:30

Today, my wife took me to Taco Bell for the first time. I said, "Isn't this where all those FMLs happen to people?" She said, "You'll be fine." I am writing this from the toilet. I am not fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 851

You deserved it 443

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Same thing different taste

By Mariah Heimann - 15/12/2011 03:34 - United States

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 118

You deserved it 3 382

Taco Bell, huh?

By tanya - 25/10/2010 12:32 - Canada

Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I checked my Facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption, "This is what Taco Bell does." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 155

You deserved it 41 036

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 437

You deserved it 4 059

By FUCK GOD - 03/02/2013 23:04 - Argentina - Salta

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 125

You deserved it 4 861

Romance

By shortyybrooke - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my wife sat beside me on the ledge of the bathtub because she wanted to make out. I was on the toilet. Shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 715

You deserved it 537

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 971

You deserved it 7 927

By PissNTra - 19/07/2011 17:11 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house to meet her entire family for the first time. Trying not to be rude, I ate their 12-bean and chorizo soup. Now I'm stuck in the bathroom trying to unclog the toilet with no plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 910

You deserved it 5 278

By oh no - 22/06/2015 20:58 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 486

You deserved it 5 288

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 475

You deserved it 4 811

By SeatofIgnorance - 29/08/2017 04:30

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 682

You deserved it 4 988

_Hakuna_Matata_ 12

Monday 3 September 2018 20:37

And thus, the circle continues.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Monday 3 September 2018 20:38

Be careful, dude. Those "I told you so" moments can be fatal.

Comments

_Hakuna_Matata_ 12

Monday 3 September 2018 20:37

And thus, the circle continues.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Monday 3 September 2018 20:38

Be careful, dude. Those "I told you so" moments can be fatal.

TCRII 29

Monday 3 September 2018 20:55

Taco SMELL

raven_of_azarath 34

Tuesday 4 September 2018 18:54

Taco Hell

thehaystackerine 20

Monday 3 September 2018 21:35

How how big a ******* rock, and how far under it do you live that you've never been to Taco Bell?

Mathalamus 24

Monday 3 September 2018 22:26

WhAt the OP said, that might be a clue why.

LAUGHINGKOMODO 25

Tuesday 4 September 2018 3:42

idk, i haven't been there till i started leaving the house myself. my parents didn't let us eat shit food and when we got to pick, it was more like local places that had food we all liked.

raven_of_azarath 34

Tuesday 4 September 2018 18:55

OP could have grown up in a family that ate healthy and never fast food. Those are a thing after all.

Charlie Given 26

Monday 3 September 2018 21:53

Say it like your grunting while crapping a waterfall ,TACO HELLLL😰😨😭😵😕😞😏

RichardPencil 30

Monday 3 September 2018 21:57

The chihuahua should say “¡Quiero Imodium!”

PenguinPal3017 19

Monday 3 September 2018 22:50

I can eat almost anything without getting an upset stomach. One exception is that once I ate an entire bottle of hot sauce with a spoon and a couple of hours later had the *****.

acmariner99 25

Tuesday 4 September 2018 3:21

Ah Taco Bell, for when you just crave crap, feel like crap, sit on the crapper making FMLs. The circle of Taco Bell.

midnightangel981 8

Tuesday 4 September 2018 16:28

Ironic, as I love eating at Taco Bell..

raven_of_azarath 34

Tuesday 4 September 2018 18:57

Part of why it was so bad is probably because you’ve never had it before so your stomach isn’t used to it. If you liked the taste, then keep eating it and eventually the ***** will get less bad.