Today, I'm studying abroad in Russia, and I lost my keys to my dorm room. In the office I asked for a spare and she spoke really fast so I couldn't hear her. Assuming I don't speak Russian, she gets on the phone and calls maintenance saying, "There is this ugly girl about to cry... come fix it." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML
Today, I went to take a shower, but forgot my towel and dorm key in my room. After my shower, I had to run down to the front desk butt-naked, using only a shampoo bottle as cover, and ask for a temporary key. The person running the front desk was my ex-girlfriend’s current boyfriend. FML
Today, my roommate who stays out til 4 or 5 in the morning each night got her key to the dorm fixed. I've been having to stay up nightly to let her in (my normal bedtime being 12:00) How'd they fix it? Turns out it was never broken she was just putting the key in the slot wrong. FML
Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML
Today, my boss is on the phone with a Russian customer, who keeps saying, "Speak Russian please!" My boss asks me to translate, as he hired me for my knowledge of Russian. He says something, I translate in Russian, then the customer says, "Speak English please!" FML
Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML
Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place. I told her to use my keys, because my hands were full. Afterwards, she and her boyfriend set off out of town for the next couple of days. She forgot to give me back my keys. FML
Today, while taking a shower in the dorm bathroom, my roommate thought it would be funny to steal my towel, robe, and key. I spent over an hour waiting for someone to come into the bathroom so I could ask them to bring me something to cover up. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to visit. We went to a cafe where I managed to lock myself in the toilet, breaking the key. I then had to wait for them to break down the door. I came out to applause from everyone, who had been laughing at me for 25 minutes. FML
Today, I heard a knock on my door and, thinking it was my student adviser, opened it. I was greeted by a drunk girl, who pushed her way into my dorm room, informed me that she lived here last year, and then told me that she lost her virginity in my bed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SilverXeno 0
In Soviet Russia, you don't lose keys. KEYS LOSE YOU!
WFMS 0
you should of said " the ugly girl can hear you" in Russian to her
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (170)
chocoLIFE_fml 2
that is sucks, it happened to my Japanese American friend haha, my parents were the ones that supose she did know the Japanese.
fancycake 0
You "really need" the job? You've only been laid off a month. Try six months. Or try never being able to get a job in the first place.
LittleGigiK 0
I would've said "don't call me ugly" in fluent Russian. that would have been enough to make her feel embarassed
russianSpy 0
I am pretty sure she said "strannaya"(strange) not "strashnaya"(ugly) they sound simular.. i don't think she would say "yrodlivaya"(ugly) or "nekrasivaya"(not pretty) it just doesn't make sense... it would sound just kinda weird in russian at least.
fhbyf 2
Не, фраза "тут одна уродина ключ потеряла и..." - вполне нормально звучит, просто слово "уродина" не несет особой смысловой наргузки, поэтому не должна переводиться.
lizka 0
аа спасибо тепреь вот не так уж странно звучит
skullbuster 0
Я просто хотел бы знать, сколько людей будет вырезать и вставить эту информацию в онлайн-переводчик? Я просто похитили, по крайней мере одну минуту своей жизни - FYL! Онлайн переводчики сосать хотя.
zrhcrx 0
The same thing has happened to me a couple of times in Germany. My family is from there so I speak fluently, but when I first get there I have to adjust to how fast they speak. They assume I don't speak German and insult me...next time feel free to tear them a new ass hole, they probably wont do it to anyone again.
skullbuster 0
But putting this bitch behind the counter in her place isn't going to change the fact that OP is ugly. OP should go ahead and focus her efforts on a makeover, that'll show that desk *****!
ghettob 0
we're supposed to believe what, you asked her for the key in english? clearly if you asked in russian she would know you spoke russian. idiot.
skittleface 0
russian is cool looking when written and one of the most beautiful languages when spoken. that and urdu. :]
xxXChiiXxx 2
THAT'S when you say, "The ugly girl can hear you." in Russian. ;)
salina234 0
eto ne ochen' nice, no vsetaki ne znau, ya by nebyla porzhena