Today, I'm studying abroad in Russia, and I lost my keys to my dorm room. In the office I asked for a spare and she spoke really fast so I couldn't hear her. Assuming I don't speak Russian, she gets on the phone and calls maintenance saying, "There is this ugly girl about to cry... come fix it." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML
Today, I went to take a shower, but forgot my towel and dorm key in my room. After my shower, I had to run down to the front desk butt-naked, using only a shampoo bottle as cover, and ask for a temporary key. The person running the front desk was my ex-girlfriend’s current boyfriend. FML
Today, my roommate who stays out til 4 or 5 in the morning each night got her key to the dorm fixed. I've been having to stay up nightly to let her in (my normal bedtime being 12:00) How'd they fix it? Turns out it was never broken she was just putting the key in the slot wrong. FML
Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML
Today, my boss is on the phone with a Russian customer, who keeps saying, "Speak Russian please!" My boss asks me to translate, as he hired me for my knowledge of Russian. He says something, I translate in Russian, then the customer says, "Speak English please!" FML
Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML
Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place. I told her to use my keys, because my hands were full. Afterwards, she and her boyfriend set off out of town for the next couple of days. She forgot to give me back my keys. FML
Today, while taking a shower in the dorm bathroom, my roommate thought it would be funny to steal my towel, robe, and key. I spent over an hour waiting for someone to come into the bathroom so I could ask them to bring me something to cover up. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to visit. We went to a cafe where I managed to lock myself in the toilet, breaking the key. I then had to wait for them to break down the door. I came out to applause from everyone, who had been laughing at me for 25 minutes. FML
Today, I heard a knock on my door and, thinking it was my student adviser, opened it. I was greeted by a drunk girl, who pushed her way into my dorm room, informed me that she lived here last year, and then told me that she lost her virginity in my bed. FML
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Top comments
SilverXeno 0
In Soviet Russia, you don't lose keys. KEYS LOSE YOU!
WFMS 0
you should of said " the ugly girl can hear you" in Russian to her
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Comments (170)
Person1233 13
Shes probably just pissed that her vibrator broke and is taking it out on everyone around her. Send her a ***** with a note saying "Go green"
bbobe900000 0
hahhahahahahahaahahahaahaha omg, that is the funniest thing I've read on here
alexomAnexo 0
Russians are generally more agressive people......I was born and raised so Don't ******* argue you capitalist sons of bitches! lol steriotyping my favourite
intrepid00 0
If it makes you feel better I've never seen a good looking old Russian lady.
runkatrun 0
You have, but you probably didn't register her as "Russian" in your head at the time. Russians are usually split between extremes regardless of age or sex: either drop dead gorgeous, or drop dead to save your eyes the agony. The majority being in the former category, however. ;)
generalsmith2 0
something which you have found in all your studies of Russian beauty or lack of it.
kirbyfan23 0
Lol FYL. On an unrelated note, I've noticed that ads on FML pages seem to correspond to the FML. I'm looking at one right now that says, "Find your Russian beauty today!" It's good for a laugh.
iFRUiTTART 0
Say back to her in Russian : "We have a bitchy office lady . Fix it ." :)
xavierdevoy 0
Whoah a Russian chickl called you ugly? Burn.
awdorable 0
Haha, I'm sorry. I'm Russian, so here's a response I'd say to that bitch: Ya ponimayu shto t' govorish, suka. Chyert s toboy. (In English: I understand what you're saying, bitch. Damn you.)
RuskiManBearPig 4
Zdastvuytye.
Nomad609 0
Dont worry, we use the word ugly incessantly here in Russia but that doesn't mean you are ugly, often we use it to describe a person who is in a bad situation. so Ugly girl may imply to a girl who is in a bad situation.
marka666 0
Exactly what I was going to say.
sofad15 0
I was just going to say. That's just the way Russians talk, showing off negative emotions more than positive ones. But that doesn't mean the person is actually ugly.
fhbyf 2
Again, it's NOT unprofessional in Russia. Besides, ask how much a receptionist in a dorm gains in a month - no one would care to be "professional" for that.
orhlixyone 0
I have noticed that most, if not all, Russians I've met are very rude and lacks any form of sophistication.
lizzippi 0
u live in new york where most of the rrude russians are but in russia and other parts of the world russians are very nice people ...once you get to know them just like russians think that americans are rude and innappropriate ...dont hate just because you havent found a russian person thats nice to you ps i'm russian and i am quite sophisticated for my young age so please dont make generalizations about other people and cultures if you arent in that culture or have had close relations withh them k thanx bye
fyl8847 0
anyone who ends a message with "k thanx bye" obviously isn't that sophisticated, you actually kind of sound stupid.
maygunjoys 0
way to prove their point that russians are rude and generally whiny people.
PTERONOPHOBIA 0
lizzippi's reply wasnt rude at all if that's who you're referring to...
dragon_fml 0
i think lizzippi meant the last line as thanks for reading..i don't see it as rude, it's just she saying thanks, and bye because she might not come back and read your posts. i hate this russian guy i know from highschool, he was just so rude but i also have a best friend who is russian. i love her very much because she is very supportive and she's always there for me when i need someone to talk to. so please do not say negative things about this culture or anyone's culture unless you've formed close relationships with them. :)
skullbuster 0
Leave our sophisticated young friend alone. k thanx bye
lizzippi 0
just because I wrote k thanks bye ...doesnt mean anything 1. I was running late and I didnt know how to end it politely so i thought this would be the best way to end it 2. I'm 15 for crying out loud (I am like every teenager texting and talking sometimes in chat speak) 3. I am a regular ticket holder (I buy these tickets with my own money) at the opera and i got to 5 ballets (min) a year(this shows I'm sophisticated on top of this I do tons of charity work and read good literature and actively participate in the community) 4. I am proud of my culture and don't want people to say mean things about it ( as well as about other cultures) 5. in my reply I was never rude or whiny, I just dont like people making generalizations about sometthing that they might not know well about thank you PTERONOPHOBIA and dragon. and of course there are Russians that are rude and mean and whiny but every culture has a group of people that are just like dragon said there are some that are very rude and some that are quite polite and likeable. so please don't make genaralization thank you for reading!
bamam 0
Couldn't be more right on that one!
BrittBritt1355 9
Agreed ^^^ Russian and proud lol
tina_xox 0
wow y is everyone preteding to speak russian wow thats not very nice of her to say that
missmarley93 1
oooo what a b