Miscellaneous: Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place....

By me - 20/12/2010 02:26 - Bulgaria

Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place. I told her to use my keys, because my hands were full. Afterwards, she and her boyfriend set off out of town for the next couple of days. She forgot to give me back my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 081

You deserved it 5 650

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Same thing different taste

By phansmootchie - 20/12/2011 08:14 - United States

Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 309

You deserved it 37 456

By leez - 01/02/2009 10:43 - United States

Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 076

You deserved it 1 840

By e - 02/12/2010 09:24 - United States

Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 458

You deserved it 4 336

Open up!

By nooooooooob - 05/10/2011 08:59 - United States

Today, after a long bike-ride home, I thought my roommate was being a douche and holding the door shut to our apartment. After about ten minutes of shoulder-slamming and name calling, I discovered that I just wasn't turning the key all the way, which I found out when my roomie came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 118

You deserved it 35 146

Locked out

By blank - 21/01/2013 21:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 548

You deserved it 6 394

By Anonymous - 21/07/2009 17:16 - United States

Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 403

You deserved it 60 598

By xnickx - 16/04/2009 14:47 - United States

Today, I changed the locks on my apartment so my crazy ex girlfriend couldn't get in. I went to her house to return her house key. I accidentally gave her the key to my new locks, and can't find her old house key. Now I need her to come let me in to my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 689

You deserved it 58 923

Smoking gun

By cami - 19/04/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, my roommate asked me for help finding her wallet because it’s been lost for days. I helped a bit, but it never turned up. I left to go to my boyfriend’s house as I'd planned. Guess whose wallet I found laying on the ground next to his night-stand? And why it was there… FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 104

Roommates from hell

By why me? - 11/03/2014 07:21 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 738

You deserved it 3 368

By MadameM - 26/02/2009 08:17 - United States

Today, I accidentally locked my car and house keys along with my phone in my car. Then I had to break into my own house looking for the spare. Someone called the police and I had to explain that I lived there. I forgot to grab the spare when I went to talk to the police officers I locked the door behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 143

You deserved it 9 764

perdix 29

Monday 20 December 2010 9:36

Go hunt them down to retrieve your keys. They might reward your tenacity with a threesome.

grandpaearthling 2

Monday 20 December 2010 9:31

bet now you are wishing you'd put down the sex doll and helped your roommate. now you and blow up barbie are stuck all alone for two days without keys. guess your plan worked out in the end. sweet deal

Comments

Obliviousair 0

Monday 20 December 2010 9:11

Get new friends D:

xGUMMYBEARSx 0

Monday 20 December 2010 10:44

don't tell me what to do!!!! D:

gooBUZZ 0

Monday 20 December 2010 13:14

Don't tell me what to do either! D:

DishHeads 9

Monday 20 December 2010 14:39

don't tell them what to do !!!! though you can tell me

PuppiesFTW 5

Monday 20 December 2010 22:44

Don't tell them what to do, except for DishHeads, and don't tell me what to do and what not to do.D:

ShadowSneaker360 16

Friday 17 January 2014 13:14

You get new friends!! xD

hiddydiddy 0

Monday 20 December 2010 9:11

Wellsleeeponthestreet

brennboo 3

Monday 20 December 2010 9:14

whyarewetalkinglikethis?iguessthespacebarranaway:(

mathew17986g 2

Monday 20 December 2010 9:25

ummm did your space bar break?

hiddydiddy 0

Monday 20 December 2010 9:26

nah actually on my iphone the lowest line is broken, so signs and space take a lot of time also its funniertotalklikethis:)

paigeykkins 0

Monday 20 December 2010 9:11

time to head back to your moms! :D

alaaloo_fml_fml 0

Monday 20 December 2010 9:12

Ummm call the landlord?

alaaloo_fml_fml 0

Monday 20 December 2010 10:01

Ohmygosh, I know :D I am pretty sure OP hadn't thought of that!

DocBastard 38

Monday 20 December 2010 13:43

Right. I'm pretty sure OP ran around flailing her arms and screaming like a banshee until she resorted to pounding on the door until her knuckles bled and her hands fell off, finally resigning to living out the rest of her days as a handless prostitute who could not even give a handjob. Or, she probably did think of calling the landlord. Whatever.