Today, I'm on the last day of my honeymoon in Ireland. My wife and I have an amazing hotel room and a huge bed. She's passed out drunk and if I even touch her, she needs the bucket next to our bed. So much for finishing our week on a "fun" note. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, we are on our honeymoon, at a beautiful resort, and my wife has been in bed crying for two days. She won't talk to me, and every time I come in, she sobs harder and starts hyperventilating. This can't be a good sign. FML
Today, after a very long day, I needed a hotel room but the only one available was a honeymoon suite. I was so tired, I just said yes. My wife just called demanding to know why I was charging a romantic room to our joint credit card, and if I’ve got a woman with me. I just want to go to sleep. FML
Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML
Today, it's the last day of my girlfriend's "dream vacation", which I broke the bank paying for. She's spent almost the entire week laying in bed, listlessly playing Pokémon. She won't even talk to me. FML
Today, my fiancée decided to go on a "vacation." Our wedding is tomorrow. FML
Today, after a long night of partying, I fell asleep, while my bride was delivering her vows. FML
Today, I'm exhausted. For the second time, my fiancé and I have pulled my future sister-in-law off the pavement naked and drunk at 3 a.m. and couldn't find the purse or glasses she had with her. She’s hungover and has completely blacked out what happened. Never again giving her a place to crash. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a hotel room with a jacuzzi, drinks, and tickets to Six Flags for my birthday. He is currently passed out drunk on the other side of the bed, cursing me out in his sleep. FML
Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home, chugged a beer, and passed out in our bed without saying hello or goodnight to me. I've been on vacation for a week and was hoping to cuddle. But no, if I try to touch him, he hits me and growls. FML
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Top comments
nchic01 17
well if you drink like the Irish you have to face the consequences! sorry op
lifein2014 13
what he really meant was so much for the pussy she promised me tonight Lol
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Comments (87)
ashtic 20
Honestly man, it is Ireland. Enjoy the liquor for now, you can get to lick-er later. Seriously though, that must be a bitch of a time :P
fuckercakes 21
As someone who lives in Northern Ireland, I'm generally offended by the "lol you're in Ireland bro everyone is drunk there"
mister_icicle 17
It took us a *long time* to build this stereotype, so don't go wrecking it. :-)
ShenaniganNinja 20
I don't think all the Irish are drunk. But I know that if I went to Ireland, I sure as hell would get wasted at least one night while I was there. That's how I see it. Not drinking in Ireland would be like not swimming when you go to the Caribbean. At least from a tourist perspective.
fuckercakes 21
64, what do you mean it took US. You live in America, or are you one of the Americans that are all "40% English, 20% Irish, 10% French, and 30% German"? How I see it, the only reason us Irish have the stereotype is because we invented whiskey.
nerdsgetmehot 23
Hopefully you'll look back on it later and be able to laugh. Did you at least have fun on the rest of the honeymoon? That's what matters.
Smiley_70 22
OP did your bride go off drinking by herself. You are meant to look after her in sickness as well as health. Looks like you helped the sickness do now you get yo look after her
mageepaigeee44 15
Was that english?
Smiley_70 22
Sorry now he gets to look after her in sickness
thewife5 19
Oh.. Poor guy. Sorry she had a little to much drinking on your last day so you're going to be in a fowl mood all the way home and start the marriage off with a dumb fight. Fywl
Visitant45 6
Um he never mentioned fighting. I think you're reading this in your own voice because there is an equal chance he is being light hearted about this story.
coralcat 1
If she's passed out you shouldn't be touching her - she can't give consent.
otecasacid 22
he's married...
Ianamis 6
That's his wife and it is his honeymoon consent is assumed until anything else is said. I swear people like you are huge buzzkills and probably have never had sex in your life.
luststarrr 22
Good point, #82. Consent = a yes, not the absence of no. And yes, married people are subject to this rule - rape is still rape, even after vows are exchanged.
rocker_chick23 27
Spousal rape is illegal. Just because they are married, doesn't mean he can have sex with her without her consent.
scothran428 11
Wen you look back on your honeymoon, I hope you remember all the fun you had rather than the one night you didn't get laid. I kind of feel sorry for her if she has to be married to someone so shortsighted.
Niedermayer_20 12
Yikes.
Alyxi 20
She will see this someday, somehow...and you will Never get laid again... good luck.
KoalaBek 23
You married a human being, you didn't purchase a flesh-light! I hope you read this back and see how selfish it sounds.