By No thank you - 04/02/2015 20:17 - United States - Columbus

Today, I'm here to inform men that, "If I fucked you, I wouldn't pull out" is not an effective pick up line. Ever. Especially on a coworker. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 736
You deserved it 6 295

Same thing different taste

Top comments

So romantic! What girl wouldn't swoon?

Are there actually effective pick-up lines? Though that one, I admit, is particularly bad.


SpcNemo 10

That. I don't. What? So basically he just said he would like to screw you over for 9 months+ cool guy... FYL.

Technically longer, a lot of kids don't one out when they go to collage and the parents keep supporting them

#51 is 18. Chances are, he is a senior in high school. So no, he hasn't gone to college yet.

So romantic! What girl wouldn't swoon?

You mean "I think of you when I'm horny." is NOT a good thing to say when you "meet" a cute girl for the first time, after you've "known" her for 4 years? What? Wow! No wonder those girls were a little creeped out when I mentioned their Facebook status from 5 months ago...

Well knowing this just changes everything

T'is okay dude, you could always tell them that if they were a fruit, they'd be a "fineapple".

I go with " If I was an enzymeI would be DNAhelicase. So I could unzip your jeans," but that is just me.

PerditaDessa 38

88, I feel the need to buy you a drink for that one.

That doesn't sound like love to anyone else!?

Such a statement lets you know very effectively which guy you should avoid. Somehow it is effective.

Are there actually effective pick-up lines? Though that one, I admit, is particularly bad.

The best pick up line is confidence with a little charisma, combined with respect, curiosity, and a somewhat clever yet gentle personality. Pick up lines don't work. But good character does. My mom told me that girls absolutely love talking about their family, and they like it when someone just listens and reacts to conversation. Only one girl has ever given me a chance and went on a few dates with me. My mom had given me hands down, the best dating advice in the history of all dating advice. Never had a bad date, because if conversation is running dry, just bring up family. Only use it when out of other things to talk about though.

There are some which will start a conversation, which can lead on from there. The trick is to not be a creep. You can use a line, but make it witty so you get a laugh, rather than actually coming on to her in that first line.

There's nothing better than talking about grandma on a date. I hereby promise you that I will clam up if anyone asks me about my family. I'm not fond of them. Looks like you and I shouldn't go on a date together, 24.

let's go on a date and you can tell me all about how you don't like your family.

No, #48, your approach is all wrong. Robin probably likes a man with strong morals and a Christian background. You know Robin, yesterday, during Bible study, I was reading the book of Numbers and I noticed I didn't have yours.

Actually, #28. I have gone on some dates with girls who feel the same way. They tend to end up liking it even more, because there usually is a problem within the family and everyone has their opinion and wants to be heard. If anything, I end up being someone you can vent too and tell all the things you've thought about what your family does. Not only is it healthy to verbally express those emotions, but it also leads to just a deeper relationship. Obviously, bringing up family on the first date is bad if they don't like their family. But warming up to it is good. Wouldn't you want someone to stand next to you, listen to how you truly feel. All those little things you can't ever say to anyone else because of the consequences. Just someone who genuinely cares about your opinion in the matter rather than defending the other sides, just listening to yours.

Nah, I'm with 48. Talking about my family is uncomfortable as hell no matter who I'm talking with, and I'd do just about anything to end the conversation and run away when it comes up.

I think "pick up lines" really only work as a joke when you're already in a relationship with the person.

"Hey girl. I make YouTube videos for a living no wait please come back" "Hey girl, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?" "I got a bucket of chicken, wanna do it?"

The best pickup line is either "I want to be your chair, so I can always uppity you", "excuse me, can I take a picture of you so Santa knows exactly what I want?" Or "I wish I was toilet paper so I could touch your butt" (this last one was by Crawford Collins during a YouTube video...)

67, those are still better than the "best" I got: "Nice shoes. Wanna **** ?" Made especially memorable by the fact that the propositioner was a very short 13-year-old!

@ 68 I like the Santa one, it's cute.

A friend of mine always uses "hey, wanna fight?" with a smile. Works for him (and only him) all the damn time. But he's tall and used to be a male model and he admits it's never worked for anyone else.

Short and sweet. "Will you bear my child?" It lets the girls know you want a family, right?

#54, I just want to say that friends already serve that purpose and since many of my friends know the family members in question--and that the family members are not particularly likable--they are able to relate, empathize, and lend support. So if I did want to complain about my family, that's who I would go to. Not someone who's trying to woo me. I mean, I admire your dedication to the family conversation, but it ain't happening, and certainly not on a date. I've got other people I can vent to should I ever desire to do so.

PerditaDessa 38

I think pick up lines are a lot of fun. I'm not going to sleep with someone just because they use one but the type they use tells you a lot about them. My last relationship lasted two years and ended because of a move. It started with him coming up and asking "Are you a Warg? Because I bet you're an animal in the sheets."

Is that an InuYasha reference there? I haven't seen that show in years, but I'm pretty sure there was a perverted guy who used that all the time.