By lucas90 - 04/02/2015 21:42 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 245
You deserved it 7 293

lucas90 tells us more.

lucas90 2

Hey, I'm the OP! In all fairness, she and her friends were wasted, and I was the designated driver. She didn't remember any of this the next day, and actually found it quite funny. She's not dumb. Sorry to dissapoint you. And to the people that pointed out my typo - yes I'm MARRYING a her. English isn't my first language and I was exhausted when I wrote this. :)

Love
Previous FML Next FML

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

RobinGoodfellow 47

Welp, she's gonna die. Although frankly, I have to say, you're the one who made her your fiancee. You're "dating a dumbass" and marrying one and that's your fault. Good luck.

264 8
Reply Report
cheeeksss 29

Diets are notorious for not working. Especially long term. If she wants to lose weight, motivate her to do outdoor activities daily. Even something as simple as walking around in a park. It helps if you two do it together. Although, the photosynthesis part made me laugh. Best of luck OP.

188 7
Reply Report
Next

Comments

Kielnmsoftly 26

Hey don't knock it 'til you try it! I lost every pound I had on that diet and even got so sun bleached I got to go to a dance party on the beach.

112 7
Reply Report
SogekingPimpin 10

but then you overdid it and disintegrated. tan in moderation yall

48 1
Reply Report
vikky538 28

did you do it winter or summer ?

0 12
Reply Report
tantanpanda 26

under the sea.

18 2
Reply Report
doumtabarnack 12

You might to bail out of that engagement before it's too late.

89 5
Reply Report
Nexpecto 28

Explains why her hooch looks like a Venus flytrap!

0 8
Reply Report
okaydisarray 17

No need, she'll be dead soon anyway.

5 1
Reply Report
cheeeksss 29

Diets are notorious for not working. Especially long term. If she wants to lose weight, motivate her to do outdoor activities daily. Even something as simple as walking around in a park. It helps if you two do it together. Although, the photosynthesis part made me laugh. Best of luck OP.

188 7
Reply Report
Mightyrif 23

Outdoor activities to photosynthesis. You sly bugger.

33 2
Reply Report
tweetyzyaw 20

At least she's trying

3 32
Reply Report
skippydoda 32

To kill herself

60 0
Reply Report
pandalover69 26

Not eating isn't trying, it's killing yourself. If she was actually trying she'd go to the gym and follow a healthy diet.

5 1
Reply Report
Mirorbo 26

I predict hospitalization in a week. PLEASE talk her out of this!

37 4
Reply Report
xx000o 27

I predict something green growing on her in the next week.

6 11
Reply Report
iwanttogotoparis 26

At least you've got brains

4 17
Reply Report
lex1459 38

*mr Moseby voice* good luck with that.

46 5
Reply Report
olaf_is_bae 10

This reminds me of the episode of SpongeBob SquarePants. She only gonna have a tissue, a penny, and a chip for friends if she keeps this diet going on.

4 29
Reply Report
lex1459 38

This has nothing to do with that episode.

46 1
Reply Report
JMichael 25

She was almost spot on and then that last little sentence happened.

15 1
Reply Report
10splayer 5

the filter feeding is what was trying to be referenced i believe. still has nothing to do with photosynthesis, but perhaps can be her next fad diet strategy!

0 1
Reply Report
bearstyle22 11

I need a follow up to see how long she last

16 1
Reply Report
voltroz 18

In the long term; you are going to date a plant/vegetable if she fry her brains with the tanning... Then she can really photosynthesis

22 3
Reply Report
photographer49 22

#11 seems her brains are already fried

4 0
Reply Report
karma_kicks_back 16

Maybe she'll fry her insides if she drinks enough water - I mean she lives in la-la land and anything can happen there!!

1 1
Reply Report
gobiteme2 34

I don’t she’s going to fry her brains, maybe steam them like broccoli without the cheese sauce

1 1
Reply Report
LaurenRoxsU 9

@109, NOTHING IS WORTH IT WITHOUT THE CHEESE SAUCE.

3 1
Reply Report
Next