Today, I'm 8 weeks pregnant and suffering from severe pregnancy brain. I was making my husband's lunch to take to work. I realised shortly after he left that I'd used dish soap instead of BBQ sauce for his sandwich. He has to turn his phone off for work, so I have no way to warn him. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I'm pregnant and feeling awful due to all-day-long morning sickness. My doctor suggested that I cancel all my social plans to be able to keep working. My doctor is also my husband, and the father of this child. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML
Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML
Today, I was feeling really sick at work. I messaged my boss whether his girlfriend, who also works there, could cover me. He then came down, shouting at me that whatever illness I have, I've also passed on to his girlfriend. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, I took a well-aimed TV remote to the testicles. My wife’s pregnancy cravings are really bad and I forgot to restock the cupboard with apricot jam and packets of sage and onion stuffing. FML
Today, my partner, our 5-month-old baby and I had to go to A&E because my idiot boyfriend mistook dishwasher Rinse Aid for cooking oil, and cooked a meal for us in it. As I'm breastfeeding, even our baby needed blood tests. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML
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Top comments
Soninuva 41
And here he thought you were only joking when you said you'd wash his mouth out with soap the next time he said something you didn't like!
LonelyAngel22 13
Really hope OP gives us a follow up to this :P
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Comments (54)
Soninuva 41
And here he thought you were only joking when you said you'd wash his mouth out with soap the next time he said something you didn't like!
DarkenedSnow 12
You're giving him a good clean on the inside OP. Joking aside I'm sure he'll notice straight away and I'm sure he would understand. Pregnancy is a big job! Have a laugh, I hope he does :P
GlennGuagmire 20
He will start burping bubbles.
JocelynKaulitz 28
I would prefer that than getting the ***** at work because of eating soap lol
pstackz 14
was there not a way to get in contact with his work place?
hellobobismyname 24
Perhaps his job finds it unprofessional for personal calls to go through on the work phones? My last job was like that.
chosha_fml 27
Do they find it professional to throw up at work after accidentally eating dish soap?
LonelyAngel22 13
Really hope OP gives us a follow up to this :P
Mangascribbler 19
On the bright side, I think he'll probably realize the mistake pretty quickly.
PaulieXP 16
Is this pregnancy brain a real thing? How the hell do you mix up BBQ sauce and dish soap?
phs_ladybug 10
Yes. While pregnant your brain shrinks and takes upwards a year to return beck to normal size. In rare situation the brain can remain unsized.
FarFromHome_fml 17
It's basic biology You have a second human growing in your uterus so your body has to produce all sorts of hormones to not just eject the foreign body. Think how puberty affects people. It's the same thing on a completely different level.
Inkoseh 33
Yes Pregnancy brain is real, but I believe it's more for forgetfulness, weird reasoning and emotions. My sink with dishsoap is perpendicular and a few feet away from my fridge where I make my husband's lunch. I don't think I would have ever gone for a bottle of colourful (mines blue!) liquid over BBQ sauce in even my most 'frenzied pregnant, 3 year old at my leg asking for snackies' state. Unless my eyes were closed and I kept my soap in the fridge. I have no idea, and hardly believe this happened. At the very least, after squirting that stuff on, you'd be able to see the colour and redo it all! It does make for a funny story though!
PJSandWitch 3
Yup, pretty real. I at seven weeks got a taxi to go across town to a store only to completely forget what I was there for. I cried as the helpless sales girl tried to give me suggestions on what it might had been. I only remembered 2 days later.
fucrduces 7
That's funny.
liane918 16
pregnancy brain is real. and horrible. happens to me all the time at work when i am told to write a letter for a patient with all the information and then i have to go and awkwardly stand outside of the O.R. waiting for the patient to finish a surgery (we do feet so usually it's an ingrown nail removal) and i have to stand there asking nurses to see if anyone can remind me what the doctor told me some 2 minutes before. now.. the whole completely confusing dish soap with bbq? that's not what pregnancy brain is.
makerofhumans 7
totally real. I'm not sure how the BBQ sauce dish soap mix up came about, but I've done some not so brilliant things while growing humans. with my youngest, I was 33 weeks along, completely exhausted because even when my then 1 year old would let me sleep i couldn't because I was so uncomfortable, and I went to wash the dishes. only the dish soap by the sink was empty I went to get more from the pantry. somehow I managed to grab corn syrup instead and it took me nearly an hour to figure out why my dishes weren't getting clean but instead getting sticky and gross.
Casaundraaa 9
not like this rofl they're just dumb
FarFromHome_fml 17
I mean, he is a full grown adult who could make his own lunch...
MysticAmmu 17
Maybe it was OP's initiative? Nowhere does it say that she does it everyday. I'll make dinner/lunch for my fiance sometimes and he'll do the same for me. Whats wrong with her making lunch for him?
jasonswife423 18
I'm a stay at home mom and my husband works 10 hrs days, 6 days a week. I make his lunch every day and make sure his clothes are clean and laid out for him. He works hard so I don't have to, so I will gladly do those things for him. Sure he's capable, but so am I.
the_real_dvd 21
Or maybe people still do things for each other because they love each other and aren't too proud to do something your PC generation has suggested is demeaning. I'm sure he appreciates the sandwich and I'm sure she appreciates him going to work..
fucrduces 7
That's my kind of woman. You go girl.
cootiequeen4444 11
21, your username ruins your point (seriously? )
Lexyy17 18
I kinda think this is bs. I had pretty bad pregnancy brain/ mommy brain but don't understand how you could even possibly mistakenly replace BBQ sauce with dish soap. Like do you keep your bottle of dish soap in the fridge or store your BBQ sauce beside/under the sink?
MysticAmmu 17
I imagined that OP took the bbq sauce out the fridge and put it on the kitchen bench which was close to the sink. So when OP went to grab it she grabbed the wrong one.
T1A2Z3 35
Also maybe she was doing the dishes while making the lunch? Doesn't sound like the husband helps out much
MisstressNicole 20
my worse was. teeing coffee without the grounds and melting a spatula on a burner I hadn't turned off. I really can't see how this mistake can be made unless the two are kept in close quarters.
cootiequeen4444 11
I've done the coffee thing before. twice. never even been pregnant. lol.