Today, I'm 8 weeks pregnant and suffering from severe pregnancy brain. I was making my husband's lunch to take to work. I realised shortly after he left that I'd used dish soap instead of BBQ sauce for his sandwich. He has to turn his phone off for work, so I have no way to warn him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm pregnant and feeling awful due to all-day-long morning sickness. My doctor suggested that I cancel all my social plans to be able to keep working. My doctor is also my husband, and the father of this child. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML
Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML
Today, I was feeling really sick at work. I messaged my boss whether his girlfriend, who also works there, could cover me. He then came down, shouting at me that whatever illness I have, I've also passed on to his girlfriend. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, I took a well-aimed TV remote to the testicles. My wife’s pregnancy cravings are really bad and I forgot to restock the cupboard with apricot jam and packets of sage and onion stuffing. FML
Today, my partner, our 5-month-old baby and I had to go to A&E because my idiot boyfriend mistook dishwasher Rinse Aid for cooking oil, and cooked a meal for us in it. As I'm breastfeeding, even our baby needed blood tests. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML
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Top comments
Soninuva 41
And here he thought you were only joking when you said you'd wash his mouth out with soap the next time he said something you didn't like!
LonelyAngel22 13
Really hope OP gives us a follow up to this :P
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Comments (54)
DanaeZee 18
Pregnancy brain? Never heard about this. I try to imagine messing law cases up and telling my clients "Whoops, preggers!" o.O. Nope, did not happen to me or any woman I know. Come on, this is a joke, right?
mikbrooke 25
also known as 'baby brain.' is definitely a thing, is related to hormone changes. BUT, baby brain generally involves forgetfullness, oversensitivity and lack of focus. i have never known/heard of anyone doing something like this. even lack of focus/forgetfullness wouldnt lead to this unlikely swap.
ACCOUNTKILLER 18
Call his work's office number. If you can't reach him, hopefully he'll notice... and if he doesn't, you might want to get some hydralyte. Also that's really early to be having preggo brains- I take it this isn't your first child?
anaheimangels40 11
Guess who will be on her knees when husband gets home!
whatthebegerk 7
WTF?!
vandj8 9
It's obvious what happened: you subconsciously hate your husband for putting in your current condition, and this was your way of getting back at him. Because unless you store your dish soap in a BBQ bottle, there's no logic explanation for why that would have happened.
naviajack626 16
I don't even need to be pregnant to do things like that lol
KJ6 21
You mean he works in a building with no phones? Where does he work?
weveallbeenthere 30
this really made me laugh. thanks
soulreaper12296 28
Can't you just go to where he works and tell him then?
T1A2Z3 35
Why do you make him lunch? You're pregnant you should be resting. He's a grown man he can make his own food