Today, I lost my virginity. We'd both waited until marriage, so I thought it'd be nice and romantic. Nope. He slipped it into my ass and claimed he didn't know which hole was the right one. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Stud
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Testing the waters
Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML
True romantic
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. During the act, he looked deep in to my eyes before whispering, "Up the arse next time?" FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Giggle loop
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Top comments
Globrorey 3
Yeah if he slipped it in your ass he knew what he was doing. Secondly you can't just "slip it" in the ass without proper lube anyway. You should've felt him knocking at the back door and then you could've guided him to the front. If he slipped it in your ass, then he's not a virgin. You got scammed.
sadblufly 18
If you've masturbated before you actually had sex with him, you should tell him what you like and help him around. If he was also a virgin or pretty inexperienced he might not know his way around your lady bits
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Comments (77)
Rednomad 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
So, did you like it?
PhoenixChick 26
I don't expect someone to be an expert at ladybits their first time around...but men have assholes too, right? Shouldn't you be able to recognize the general area?
polsen4273 8
If you are looking at what you are doing, yes, but..
Elgrin 15
Wow... And I thought I lived a sheltered life growing up. O.o
Mangascribbler 19
Right? I thought I'd lived a sheltered life too, until I went to college and had to teach a roommate that the urethra and the vaginal canal are different holes, and that no, babies don't form in your bladder.
hyperreader 15
Story of my life.
InfiniteSunshine 32
First of all, you don't just "slip," anal is a lot tighter than vaginal, it takes quite a bit more force to end up in there, especially without lubrication. Also, I call bullshit on not knowing which hole was right, even people completely ignorant of sex can figure out how to do it properly. If anything, someone inexperienced would probably search for the vaginal opening higher, not lower. I think he did it purposely, which is unacceptable as he did not have consent to go there, which by definition is rape. Also, while I'm accepting of people choices when it comes to sex before/after marriage, this is sometimes why I question waiting until marriage. Your first time is rarely romantic, you're just inexperienced and even if you've been with your partner for years, nerves from doing something so intimate and new can get to you, making for a less than stellar time.
polsen4273 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sometimes it can just slip in with no effort or pushing. Im sure the girl has to be really relaxed for this to happen, but it can, and it did happen accidentally like that with me and my gf and she had never had anything up there before.
chessdude 8
Maybe he wasn't watching?
InfiniteSunshine 32
When you're having sex, you're usually watching, at least when you first put it in. Especially if it's your first time because you're just learning what you're doing. I still call bullshit on his whole story, but I wasn't there, I don't know exactly how it went down, so it's the OP's call.
InfiniteSunshine 32
When you're having sex, you're usually watching, at least when you first put it in. Especially if it's your first time because you're just learning what you're doing. I still call bullshit on his whole story, but I wasn't there, I don't know exactly how it went down, so it's the OP's call.
Catdragon 40
I would buy a strap on and peg him the next time, if he doesn't want to respect your body why should you respect his.
HonestPie 10
So anally raping him is your answer to this? Best of luck to anyone who knows you.
Axel5238 29
If it was dark and couldn't tell based on the position it's possible. Though if he was having trouble finding the right hole guide him. If he knowingly did it he's a shit head. I get that every has different views on sex, but seriously it's a big part of a relationship and to now know before you get married is unwise. The 2 biggest reasons people get divorced are money and sex.
Axel5238 29
*not
Mathalamus 25
and that is why i think waiting for marriage is one of the worst ideas i have heard: lack of real life experiance. or, apparently, knowledge in his case. sexual education should be mandatory for everyone.
flyingflies 36
I happen to agree with you, BUT people can do whatever they want and they shouldn't be judged (unless they cause harm to other people). Live and let live, you know? You get to follow your own ideas, others get to do that as well.
EvilLittleMan 23
Time to get an Exit Only tat.
Le_ponderer 14
This is weird. I'm trying to figure out how he had access to your anus. If you were missionary style (as most 1st timers), then unless he put your legs over his shoulder or a pillow under you, your anus should have been inaccessible. If he went doggy though, he should have felt your vaginal opening with his fingers 1st ahead of penile penetration. I sense some hanky-panky here...
Opsimath 5
I do not believe it is possible to accidentally just "slip" into your anus. Or perhaps when he (supposedly) said he was a virgin he meant that he had not yet had vaginal sex. Like they did in olden times when a bride needed to have an intact hymen on the wedding night they would do the premarital hanky-panky via the back passage.
polsen4273 8
It is possible. Has happened to me. Never would have thought it could have happened until it did. I didn't even believe her until I looked down. No joke, just what really happened. I think being in the shower with lots of water had something to do with it.
Aethereal 14
Something like 3/4 of women don't naturally have enough 'hymen' for it to break. The cultures which mentioned such checks generally sewed their women... So don't go permeating such myths.
sweetpotato301 7
Water is a terrible lube so I doubt that had anything to do with it 38
sailorarctic 22
I actually know a man that claimed that shit to his wife that he had "never had sex outside of marriage" only for her to find out he had plenty of anal with his past girlfriends. He also turned out to be a wife beater and a major asshole.
sadblufly 18
it's totally possible to accidentally slip it in the butt. the only time I've ever done any sort of anal it was on accident, my legs were on his shoulders and he slipped. I was relaxed because I was a bit tipsy, but he didn't know he had slipped until I told him I wasn't into it. if the guy was super inexperienced it is possible to be unaware of what goes where, especially when sex education isn't taught or not taught well