Today, I lost my virginity. We'd both waited until marriage, so I thought it'd be nice and romantic. Nope. He slipped it into my ass and claimed he didn't know which hole was the right one. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. During the act, he looked deep in to my eyes before whispering, "Up the arse next time?" FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
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Top comments
Globrorey 3
Yeah if he slipped it in your ass he knew what he was doing. Secondly you can't just "slip it" in the ass without proper lube anyway. You should've felt him knocking at the back door and then you could've guided him to the front. If he slipped it in your ass, then he's not a virgin. You got scammed.
sadblufly 18
If you've masturbated before you actually had sex with him, you should tell him what you like and help him around. If he was also a virgin or pretty inexperienced he might not know his way around your lady bits
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Comments (77)
annoyedleo 6
*FMA
swaddison 11
I feel like that's a little overdramatic, it's possible it just happened accidentally.
SauceySarah 30
How did he not know which hole was which? It's pretty obvious..
kichie22 7
You must have a loose asshole
withered 30
Ugh. Such ignorance makes me cringe. I'd play the game "spot the tiny penis" but it's already over. It's like when people with tiny packages blame women's ****** for "being big". But hey, whatever makes people like you feel better.
amos_katelyn 7
Yeah there's no way he's a virgin if he "accidentally slipped in your ass" he knows what he's doing.
FrizzyGuide 8
Welp that's a pain in the ass.
andrmac 25
Giving a guiding hand would have been a good move if he's really that clueless, and maybe in the future as well if he was just playing dumb and wanted to try the backdoor instead, but yes FYL for the unexpected journey.
jtsmommy 11
My first time was like that, ( not the married part though, oops) so don't feel too bad OP it's surprising how many virgin men don't understand a woman's anatomy, I guess.
Badkarma4u 17
Oh come on he was probably face to face with her trying to guide it with his hand. Do youbreally think a guy on his honeymoon for his first time is going to try to trick his new wife into doing something he's never done either?
BrandiCandi94 4
Waiting to have sex until marriage is one of the stupidest things you could possibly do. Sexual incompatibility ruins marriages, and just from this post, you can tell that's where it's heading. YDI.