Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. He then told me, in tears, how bad he felt about leaving his dog alone for the night. FML
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Top comments
CoolCookie210 22
That's disappointing. On the bright side, now you can gossip to your friends about how awful it was.
betweenwinds 18
Let him brag to his friends this once (embarrassing him won't help anything), but also let him know that you heard and now expect his performance to (eventually) match up to his boasts. He'll improve with some practice. ;)
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Comments (98)
thatonetribute 31
You should pop his sizable ego and tell what really happened.
carter2194 3
Thats why I like girls over guys. i aim to please another girl.
laden_swallow09 35
Doesn't matter; had sex?
pantsman66 20
Maybe you can ask his friends and play the "advice" role. Tell them that it was awful for him and he was in tears. Maybe they can comfort him ;)
wondermoose 28
Foreplay my friend, and over time stamina will get better as well as cockiness.
romegatekeeper 8
Say to him there is a damn big difference from a pounding and 20 seconds his friends should get the point unless there just as stupid as him!!! Get a new boyfriend !!! ?
tamesenicole 27
I'd text his friends the truth
LycanGod 27
wow, he is a wimp.. just trying to show off to his friends? I wonder how they will find it if you were to tell them the truth lol
darthsinistar 7
He sounds like he has a fragile ego. Just talk to him, tell him you don't like him discussing stuff like this in public. If he's still making an ass of himself after that, then I'd say you are justified in telling his friends the truth.
caliguy08 17
It's the rule of "3". If a guy says he made his girlfriend cum "3" times it's usually only "1" time or "none". Women tend to use this rule and under embellish...meaning you take their number and times it by "3" for men you take their number and divide it by "3"... It's pretty much a proven science