By fuckadaisical - 06/12/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML
I agree, your life sucks 55 387
You deserved it 8 888

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Well did you like it

It's sweet that he cares about keeping you well-fed.


Well did you like it

Shoulda asked for some hot sauce on that sandwich

He will feeling the burn

I'm sure she did, but I would much rather have a "pussymeat sandwhich."

tailyerd 17

You mean 'pussymunchwhich'

naarz 9

With some CONDOM-mental with that sand which loll

naarz 9


Extra mayo!!

I love how all the supposedly witty comments above with the typos are getting rejected. Next time add for a real beef sandwich and not a chicken sandwich.

Whatever, I see people don't like my obvious typo of "add" instead of "try". Oh well...

jazzy_123 20

i love how 47 dissed everyone before him on their puns and yet when he gave it a try became a part of the group. Haha.

naarz you really shouldn't comment while intoxicated.

Oh the irony...

naarz 9

Wtf I don't even drink you idiot maybe you should check ur damn facts before implying something.

97 thank you for humouring me with your guerrilla anger. LOL.

naarz 9

That's funny you say that, because that's what I think of you. By the way the next time you TRY to make an insult make sure you know how to spell, otherwise YOU kind of end up looking like the idiot

99 I didn't spell anything wrong. Please stop, you're making yourself appear much more idiotic now.

somebody is feeling a ~little~ insecure 0.o

blackman100 20

At least he's the one making the sandwiches in this relationship.

Oh, the derail is strong in this one.

97, he wasnt implying that you drink... but I am implying that you have a mental disorder...

You should try showing him what you like? Ask him to go along with the kind of foreplay you try? Experiment what you both like and try new things, OP. This isn't much of an FML

It's sweet that he cares about keeping you well-fed.

The well-fed part depends on the size of the sandwich, lol.

Weird_situations 13

He sounds wonderful

But did she bite.

Sounds to me like he's doing it right.

Op could always give him a whack in the nads and say that she prefers cracked walnuts. Lol

Karcasm 7

I'm sure it was a... mouthful.

ashalayx 13

i wouldnt say this is an FML. id just say thats embarrassing. just my opinion

It's only a sandwich if there's bread!

Mhm, did ya put it between some buns?

tailyerd 17

Yeah her buns

CamdenMarie 6

Someone's been watching Harold and Kumar...

I was thinking of amir from Jake and amir on collegehumor lol.

ninjuh_wingman 29

No it really isn't.

Guessed he skipped the box idea. Personally, I think Justin Timberlake took the better route.

I dunno, I hear Justin Bieber is a fan of the cockmeat.

#52; 2009 called, they want their joke back.

cryssycakesx3 22

Ah 52, wrong Justin. as stated above, old gay bieber jokes are old. if you're 17+ There's only one Justin and that's the original Justin.

What a sweet romantic boyfriend

Should have then asked him for a larger size

Kuro_Kamen 12


"Sure that sounds great! But I'd prefer the foot-long!"

naarz 9

Subway combo number 3 for Daily deals Wednesdays...

Maybe some sauce too

cryssycakesx3 22

king size!

# 93 it's a sandwich not a bed.

martin8337 35

Or a little smokey.

Haha, that's terrible but still kind of romantic.

No, it's really not at all romantic.

What's not romantic to you, is romantic to others.

I guess it's just me that doesn't find it romantic when a guy asks me to eat his cockmeat sandwich.

cryssycakesx3 22

it's not romantic but it's cute.

#13 and #59 you two are made for each other.

I would laugh, but he certainly wouldn't be getting any action after that.