Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. He then told me, in tears, how bad he felt about leaving his dog alone for the night. FML
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Top comments
CoolCookie210 22
That's disappointing. On the bright side, now you can gossip to your friends about how awful it was.
betweenwinds 18
Let him brag to his friends this once (embarrassing him won't help anything), but also let him know that you heard and now expect his performance to (eventually) match up to his boasts. He'll improve with some practice. ;)
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Comments (98)
BahemianBeauty20 2
I say you're still a virgin.. think of it as a good thing you didn't waste your first ****..!!!! Lmao I'd rather 20sec. than 2hrs of a huge dick! that ***** painfully ctfu
TheNewGuy03 29
Yeah, first of all, he probably should not be talking about anything sexual that happens between himself and his girl to all his friends (especially if she's in ******* earshot). Secondly, I personally would not self-aggrandize, especially about something that is both false and can bite you in the ass later.
superfoxman 8
I would sit him down and let him watch **** so he would know how it was really done instead of a 8 second ride at the rodeo
tristan4828 9
He's a dumbass fine a new one
MRhodes19 6
Wow sounds like me... If I ever did it :(
soulxreaperx356 9
aww, look at it this way, he's a blank slate, train him to do exactly what you want him to do ;)
Drentiful 9
I mean you can't blame him if it was his first time. He's probably embarrassed. Most guys have a rough first time it seems. Lol
Kittyphysics 21
the first time is always short, weird, and sucky. don't give up on him yet op, and for god sake, let him brag to his friends. men can be surprisingly delicate creatures. on the upside, I'd bet my life it was his first time too. :)
livexe 8
How can you cry during sex what
Solano2580 24
Talk to him and give him lessons, from where i'm standing it seems like you are condescending him, like you loathe him now that you know he sucks at sex.
Cathrin 26
I'd be more upset by the fact that he's lying about it to his friends.