Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says, "I love you" are after he screws up or when he wants a blowjob. FML
Today, while making a move in a board game that helped my boyfriend win, he got all excited and said "I love you, babe." I smiled until I realized this was the first time he told me that other than when he wants a blow-job. FML
Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. During the act, he looked deep in to my eyes before whispering, "Up the arse next time?" FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
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Top comments
denaeb123 24
He sounds like most of his dick is in his personality
ghetto_child 19
pure romance
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Comments (96)
Enslaved 38
"More than words is all you have to do to make it real" Sounds Extreme, huh? That song made ******** request a lot easier for some guys.
JayVicious 20
then you wouldn't have to say, that you love me. cause i'd al-ready knooooow!
UmmOkThen 31
Time to find a new guy!
Daelynn_17 19
well dang.... tell me how you really feel.
chef4money 12
I would not have excused myself. I would have told him to suck it.
Johnnycake23 42
I'm glad you aren't a sucker for his sweettalk ability!
Kitty_Kat44 31
Maybe that was his way in telling you he doesn't feel the same.
pimpmilk69 18
actually a ******* is worth 20 bucks.
chickenlips23 16
50$
shanannygians07 28
Unless it's with braces
onlychildFTW 34
Girls with braces can give good head to. I had a girl with brace blow me. No teeth no braces even touched. It was pretty damn good.
150493x 29
A good example of how not get a *******.
ProfessorMctitie 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
i thought that was funny, get a sense of humor
Noreason89 6
Get a better sense of humor
ProfessorMctitie 20
no
Noreason89 6
:p
chikinscratch00 8
what a dog. lol find a real man