Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says, "I love you" are after he screws up or when he wants a blowjob. FML
Today, while making a move in a board game that helped my boyfriend win, he got all excited and said "I love you, babe." I smiled until I realized this was the first time he told me that other than when he wants a blow-job. FML
Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. During the act, he looked deep in to my eyes before whispering, "Up the arse next time?" FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
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Top comments
denaeb123 24
He sounds like most of his dick is in his personality
ghetto_child 19
pure romance
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Comments (96)
alex_jaguara 33
The sex drive is high with this one. But too inapropriate. If he returns the favour, he might be the man for you.
zykrithium 22
Douchebag
suzy_jean 8
**** him. he's a dick
Drag0nb0rn 22
If a ******* is worth a thousand words then give him a ******** worth of why you are done with him.
PANDORUM89 21
tell him the fastest way to a bj is to clean the house.
pharm121 21
Ain't nothing wrong with oral. Just ask for him to reciprocate. But he def shouldn't pressure you into it.
LittleMissShadow 16
Time to slap a bitch.
Vestin 18
It's easy to discount the guy as a douchebag and move on... Hell - it may even be an accurate assessment. What struck me, thought, is that he ultimately does have one good point - talk is cheap. You can go for hours speaking of him in superlatives and explaining how endless your love for him is... When push comes to shove - how deep IS that devotion? Actions speak louder than words. If he asks you out of the blue for oral sex (while being rude about it!) and you're not up for that, you've just showcased that there are very trivial limits to this "love". Obviously, if we're not talking about love as in "I want the best for you" but in the sense of "interacting with you makes ME feel good", then everything here makes a lot of sense... Then again - that's a selfish kind of love, the way people love eating chocolate. That's not something to really brag about.
devi_916 39
I understand that actions speak louder than words, but I'm not sure this is the time to make that point. Sometimes you just don't feel like giving a bj. Especially if your boyfriend does some shit like that. That does not mean there is a "trivial limit" to your love.
Vestin 18
#61 Yeah, it stopped OP dead in her tracks, but that doesn't mean we can't learn anything abstract from the story. As for "trivial", I meant that something along the lines of "I would do anything for you (with the exception of things I find ethically reprehensible, like killing puppies)" has been shown not to be the case. In other words - HOW MUCH does she really love him? WHAT does it even mean that she does? If it's just "interacting with you gives me pleasure, so I want to keep doing that", that's reasonable but selfish. Hell - imagine if she went ahead and actually dumped the guy on the spot. Picture him saying "Remind me how much you love me again".
xenawpwa 4
I would almost say that's a sign for a break up, unless that's a joke? An ideal response would be your boyfriend saying it back to you, plus letting you say it. I hope that's not the first time you've said it to him.
hektek 11
that's a real douchebag!