Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says, "I love you" are after he screws up or when he wants a blowjob. FML
Today, while making a move in a board game that helped my boyfriend win, he got all excited and said "I love you, babe." I smiled until I realized this was the first time he told me that other than when he wants a blow-job. FML
Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. During the act, he looked deep in to my eyes before whispering, "Up the arse next time?" FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
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Top comments
denaeb123 24
He sounds like most of his dick is in his personality
ghetto_child 19
pure romance
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Comments (96)
theotherguyss 3
Really knows how to make a lady swoon; guy's a keeper *sarcasm*
theotherguyss 3
Guess he thinks more with his "head" than his head =
fliz 17
And they say chivalry is dead
rosebud2175 3
DUMP HIM! He clearly sees you as a piece of ass for his pleasure. He doesn't deserve you or anyone else.
cappellaaa 23
he sounds like a romantic, a real winner
Cilg1244 17
It's funny how on the other FML about the girl who sold the guy's Atari and all his other games people were like "Omg she didn't know. She did it becuase she loves you" and then here all I'm seeing is people saying "You should dump him" or stuff like that.
hunterjumper88 8
If he was joking, that's kinda funny. If he wasn't joking, he's a dick.
aids9 6
Actually pretty funny ngl
xmoonchildx07 6
Yea, he's a wonderful man. NOT
kspice21 7
Or his personality is in his dick....