Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says, "I love you" are after he screws up or when he wants a blowjob. FML
Today, while making a move in a board game that helped my boyfriend win, he got all excited and said "I love you, babe." I smiled until I realized this was the first time he told me that other than when he wants a blow-job. FML
Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. During the act, he looked deep in to my eyes before whispering, "Up the arse next time?" FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
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Top comments
denaeb123 24
He sounds like most of his dick is in his personality
ghetto_child 19
pure romance
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Comments (96)
sunnyskys 25
that would be funny given a certain circumstance but sounds like you didn't take it too well he's a dick did IT at least apologize lol tell him that getting your two bottom ribs removed is worth a thousand words 2 go have fun with that (if you don't understand what I mean by that Marilyn Manson had his two bottom ribs removed so I could give himself a bj)
cmac86 24
Got yourself one classy guy there.
brennanking73195 1
time to find a new bf.
laughinghaha 2
Still a better love story than twilight
Kempeth 5
A thousand words, eh? Since you only wanted to say 3 you could tell him that he'll have to make you want to say these three words about 334 more times before he can look forward to another *******.
Venister 11
Well, he's not wrong....
JTBSpartan 4
That escalated quickly