Transportation: Today, while commuting to work on a peak hour train, I lost my...

By ShameMonkey - 27/09/2016 10:15 - Australia - Glen Waverley

Today, while commuting to work on a peak hour train, I lost my balance and accidentally grabbed a bald mans head to steady myself. To make matters worse, the words "oh gosh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were a knob" came out of my mouth before I could think about what I was saying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 232

You deserved it 1 976

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Same thing different taste

Too late

By Anonymous - 01/03/2015 13:31 - United Kingdom - Guildford

Today, while on the train heading to my new job, my coat caught between two seats. I didn't notice until my stop. I whacked myself in the face in front of everyone trying to get it free, and ended up missing my stop. When I finally got to work, I was told not to bother coming in again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 422

You deserved it 2 791

Classic

By anonymous - 22/04/2011 10:50

Today, I was on the train to work. I was up late the night before, causing me to doze off. When I woke up, I was at my station. I stood up, went to walk out of the door and fell flat on my face on a platform full of people. Someone had tied my shoelaces together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 882

You deserved it 6 880

Crotch rot

By LassieToe - 30/03/2012 03:48 - Australia

Today, while on the train to university, I realized it was my stop and quickly stood up to get off. Or I would have, if my leg hadn't gone to sleep and caused me to fall, landing face first into the crotch of the old guy in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 457

You deserved it 2 829

By niabby - 20/02/2009 23:13 - United States

Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 448

You deserved it 6 857

By ilovecowboys - 26/02/2010 09:09 - New Zealand

Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 876

You deserved it 7 037

Beep beep beep

By chloe - 29/06/2009 09:44 - Australia

Today, I was rushing to get on the train to work as I heard the "door closing" beeps. I was about to step onto the train when a man pushed me out of the way so that he could get on. My handbag fell out of my hand into the carriage. I stayed on the platform. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 136

You deserved it 3 127

By Whoopsie - 22/02/2012 15:53 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the bus and as I'm quite short my legs were dangling. Some guy, who wasn't looking where he was going, tripped over my foot and went flying. He and everyone else on the bus glared at me like it was deliberate. The man next to me even changed seats in disgust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 931

You deserved it 3 365

Sorry!

By Anonymous - 30/03/2012 14:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I got on the train with my bike, leaning it up against the wall. After a while, it began to slide down the wall and wobble, so I dashed out to catch it. As I ran for it, I slipped and crashed into it, knocking it into an old man and busting the rear brake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 295

You deserved it 4 925

By shalara - 15/06/2012 20:23 - Netherlands - Amstelveen

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 221

You deserved it 2 467

Perv!

By Thithien1 - 01/04/2009 06:07 - Korea Republic of

Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 898

You deserved it 12 664

xxDeeStar 27

Sunday 16 October 2016 11:07

That is utterly hilarious! I laughed out loud haha! But I hope he had a good sense of humour.

kctrl 8

Sunday 16 October 2016 11:39

Very rarely does an FML make me laugh aloud, but this one did. FYL OP, but thanks for the entertainment!

Comments

xxDeeStar 27

Sunday 16 October 2016 11:07

That is utterly hilarious! I laughed out loud haha! But I hope he had a good sense of humour.

kctrl 8

Sunday 16 October 2016 11:39

Very rarely does an FML make me laugh aloud, but this one did. FYL OP, but thanks for the entertainment!

Trainn 19

Sunday 16 October 2016 11:52

This one made my day.

Lalala579121 27

Sunday 16 October 2016 12:17

I hope he wasn't a wanker about it.

hekinokuroihi 20

Sunday 16 October 2016 12:54

Did he act like a knob after?

TheNewGuy03 28

Sunday 16 October 2016 13:15

I must admit having a bit of a hearty chortle at this. I hope he had a sense of humor.

ApeTheGreatApe 11

Sunday 16 October 2016 13:17

Just slowly close him shut, lift your hand off the knob and act as though nothing had happened

demideity 13

Sunday 16 October 2016 13:19

Maybe he wanted to be your knob ;)

Attacksloth 33

Sunday 16 October 2016 14:53

Looks like you got out of that situation by the skin of [his head].

HeroZeroPlayer 22

Sunday 16 October 2016 15:07

Mother of pearl this is hilarious. I'm at work on a Sunday night alone and this just made my night xD

popperpuff88 15

Sunday 16 October 2016 22:05

brilliant! Haha

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line told me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I had a headache, my legs were stiff, and my date must've thought I stood her up. The tech finally arrived, pries the door open, then rudely asked, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 453

You deserved it 3 567

Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 422

You deserved it 366

The Top

Today, I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant. The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter, and I thought they were for me. I ate one and a lady came over screaming. Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 806

You deserved it 19 011

Today, I scrambled to get out of work on the dot to go to a special pharmacy that closes at 5 pm an hour away. I arrived at 4:58. Upon reaching the door, one of the employees came and locked it in my face. Apparently, her going home early was more important than me getting my medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 318

You deserved it 389

Today, I called asking about a job I interviewed for 3 weeks ago. It's a scummy call center where known drug addicts work. They told me I wasn't getting the job. I guess my high school diploma and being drug-free makes me not good enough to work there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 986

You deserved it 4 761

Today, a guy I like invited me to play video games. Naked. He asked me to show up naked too. I did. He was too busy in a video game raid to even notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 285

You deserved it 394

Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 031

You deserved it 2 833

Today, while I was showering in my dorm, a hand reached through the curtain and grabbed my ass. I hit the person on the other side of the curtain. He opened the curtain, thinking that I was his girlfriend. He apologized, then went on to have sex with his girlfriend in the shower stall next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 841

You deserved it 3 619