monkeycannon7
Woodbridge, United States
Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
stupidtoothpick2
United States
Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML
ow
United States
Today, I learned that when you put duct tape over your mouth because you are bored, it really hurts taking it off. FML
Millian2
Plymouth, United States
Today, I learned that when you take off your sweatshirt, it can get stuck in your braces. I was in public. FML
Tytonic
Havertown, United States
First dates
Today, after my first dinner with my new girlfriend, I was using a toothpick when I fell, stabbing the roof of my mouth. She then laughed at me, as there was so much blood. FML
Pick out the picks
United States
Pizza mystery
Today, I picked out a toothpick from a pizza. This is not the first time I've had to do this. It is also not the first time that I didn't see it until less than a second before I bit down on the piece with the toothpick embedded in it. Looks like there's a toothpick assassin on the loose. FML
The Seamstress
Irving, United States
Today, while sewing, I learned that I cannot hold pins in my mouth and chew gum at the same time. FML
dumbbb
United States
Great idea
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
530gangsta
Today, while having sex I managed to chip my tooth. FML
8sq
United States
Today, I learned the hard way that yes, a fork can get stuck in your braces. FML
ouch
Stockton, United States
Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML
Top comments
Cad6 24
Did the toothpick scribe any interesting symbols in your mouth? If you look in the mirror, The following phrase might be written in your blood: YDI.
bwhahaha_fml 10
Go take your shirt off with a toothpick in your mouth and find out :)
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Comments (115)
elerbears 9
Did you meet any cute nurses at the hospital?
supersmeg12345 10
Well hey. Maybe OP got that tongue piercing they wanted after all.
immaMonsta 8
Uh, YDI? Why would you expect people to feel sorry for you?
ClosetTroll 10
Why the suspense? Ugh. You could have told us what happened to you. Bloodied lips/ gums? Slit your tongue? Toothpick went up your nose? Stabbed your neck? Great, now I'll sit here imagining all the possibilities.
muffinXmonster 12
Must be your first time.
nofearjenshere 12
My first time went something like that too. Wait... What are we talking about again?
muffinXmonster 12
Well played madam well played haha
nofearjenshere 12
;)
mickerdiddly 0
Finish the story! What happened?!?
krysxkatastrophe 14
Is it just me, or did anyone else think OP tore their shirt before realizing they hurt themself?
SkoomaKi 28
I think it would have been the searing pain of wood going through flesh that hit him/her first, but you never know.
krysxkatastrophe 14
38- Poor word choice, but you knew what I meant! Or I at least hope you did.
SkoomaKi 28
Well lesson learned.. But honestly how did you not realize something bad was going to happen? YDI
_overandout_ 10
I'm so curious - what exactly was the result of this incident? I can totally understand how it could happen, I am pretty absent-minded myself :)
Eiregal2 10
i did this in art college. i had a pencil in my mouth and went to take Off my jacket,the hood of it smacks me ( its leather) surprises me and the pencil goes on and the tip stuck in a gap between teeth, that taste,bleh!
Heinousness 0
Good one, Noor But I think that idea is wrong My diagnosis: OP had eaten some corn, so he needed to clean his teeth with a toothpick. He then wanted to take a swim. As he was taking his shirt off, the toothpick, which was still in his mouth, was swallowed and lodged itself in the hole in the throat. He then had to go to the ER to get it removed. For a better diagnosis, contact DocBastard.