monkeycannon7
Woodbridge, United States
Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
stupidtoothpick2
United States
Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML
ow
United States
Today, I learned that when you put duct tape over your mouth because you are bored, it really hurts taking it off. FML
Millian2
Plymouth, United States
Today, I learned that when you take off your sweatshirt, it can get stuck in your braces. I was in public. FML
Tytonic
Havertown, United States
First dates
Today, after my first dinner with my new girlfriend, I was using a toothpick when I fell, stabbing the roof of my mouth. She then laughed at me, as there was so much blood. FML
Pick out the picks
United States
Pizza mystery
Today, I picked out a toothpick from a pizza. This is not the first time I've had to do this. It is also not the first time that I didn't see it until less than a second before I bit down on the piece with the toothpick embedded in it. Looks like there's a toothpick assassin on the loose. FML
The Seamstress
Irving, United States
Today, while sewing, I learned that I cannot hold pins in my mouth and chew gum at the same time. FML
dumbbb
United States
Great idea
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
530gangsta
Today, while having sex I managed to chip my tooth. FML
8sq
United States
Today, I learned the hard way that yes, a fork can get stuck in your braces. FML
ouch
Stockton, United States
Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML
Top comments
Cad6 24
Did the toothpick scribe any interesting symbols in your mouth? If you look in the mirror, The following phrase might be written in your blood: YDI.
bwhahaha_fml 10
Go take your shirt off with a toothpick in your mouth and find out :)
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Comments (115)
ashtay01 5
Hahah that's a duh! moment
upsidedownfrownn 5
Why what happens?? Did you swallow it or something?
borche 5
Hahaha Ouch that must have hurt... Still funny though.
bassgod 9
Free lip piercing!! :D
aileen15 15
agreed haha
aileen15 15
agreed haha
sdroze1389 31
you're what Darwin had in mind
BuchiNeko 14
I can't even read this without cringing.
mschmuty_fml 19
Must of been a picky situation
cartedor 18
omg, you lost an eye, right?