Work: Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after...

By fucked - 24/08/2014 20:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 382

You deserved it 6 190

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

By anon - 23/11/2011 22:53

Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 007

You deserved it 3 026

No one is safe

By chili - 24/07/2021 04:01

Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 315

Invasion of the bodysnatchers

By Anonymous - 19/11/2010 03:04 - United States

Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 424

You deserved it 6 106

By Anonymous - 25/11/2014 20:15 - United States

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 931

You deserved it 3 127

Parp Blarp Mall Carp

By Clinch - 25/02/2022 04:00

Today, I was security at a shopping centre and tried to stop a guy from drinking in public. He told me to fuck off and "go play cops and robbers somewhere else", so I tried to escort him to the security office. He picked me up with one hand and threw me in the fountain. My boss let him go with a warning. I hate my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 155

Here I go again

By oakley - 07/01/2017 09:15

Today, I went to start my new job, only to find out that the guy who hired me had no permission to do so. I had to fill out another application, and complete another interview and I still might not get the damn job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 539

You deserved it 767

Oops.

By Anonymous - 18/11/2017 01:30

Today, within 24 hours at my new security job, I accidentally tasered the head of security in the groin, causing him to piss himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 866

You deserved it 1 109

By BOHICA123 - 08/10/2013 02:08 - United States - Brighton

Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for 6 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 182

You deserved it 5 287

Bad day, huh?

By evenpoorer - 16/03/2010 05:19 - United States

Today, I was excited to start my new job. It was only when I was leaving after a long 8-hour day did I realize all of the personal documents I had I brought in for paperwork had been stolen. I'm now down a passport, social security card, and wallet. Great first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 005

You deserved it 3 571

By mrsimintrouble - 29/07/2016 06:01 - United States - Redding

Today, my first day on the job, I locked up the office after everyone left and set the alarm. An hour later, my new boss angrily emailed me that I locked him inside the building, setting off the alarm and prompting the entire police department to show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 747

You deserved it 2 361

grogers311 20

Sunday 24 August 2014 23:27

Bob & weave

chosha_fml 26

Sunday 24 August 2014 23:30

Might be time to invest in some Kevlar.

Comments

Flaptrap 8

Monday 25 August 2014 0:36

Wonder why there was a job opening there... with all of those... violent shootings?

ImRJ 7

Monday 25 August 2014 0:44

dude, you are screwed

hondajason72280 10

Monday 25 August 2014 0:48

grow a pair. U knew what u signed up for being in security

Thorzix 23

Monday 25 August 2014 1:40

Grow a pair? Really? He's at risk of being ******* killed, 100% warrants being worried. Grow a BRAIN.

Zlader 4

Monday 25 August 2014 3:45

He has a point. I work in an armored truck. I knew what I was signing up for, just like he did. Violent criminals can go wherever you are. There is no "safe" in some fields of work, especially with all these cop killers running around.