Bob & weave

serpentine serpentine!

"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a bulle..." Oh, wait that's not how it goes.

Dodge, Dip, Duck, Dive, and... Dodge.

The five D's!!

Sorry to end it, but i love that thread

12, cars reference. I got it anyways.

If it's Bob, he wont be wearin' no weave.

Why did #12 get so many dislikes for the reference?

I swear , hasnt this one been posted before ?

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Yes, because when you're faced with a problem you should just quit. That'll get you far in life.

I'm not a quitter and I could see how that sounds bad. But I was just saying if he was putting himself in an unreasonably dangerous position where he could get killed he shouldn't work there.

Tell that to the cops, soldiers, firefighters and all those risking their lives for us

Yeah well some of us aren't exactly called to do that #31. We don't all have to put our lives on the line

as a security officer I agree with her. just quit. its not worth the risk when you make as much or less as a mc Donalds manager, have no power of authority, and usually no right to fight back.

#49 is right. Security Officers usually have zero authority, and aren't allowed to even stop obvious thieves and the like. I was trained, when witnessing a theft, to say nothing, do not attempt to stop them, and call the police. I'm sure the same goes for getting shot at. OP almost certainly doesn't make enough to put up with that nonsense.

That's their choice, they knew they would go somewhere dangerous. He didn't find out till afterwards that he would be somewhere dangerous. Big difference.

We fight for a good cause getting killed over someone else's shit is not a good cause

'We fight for a good cause'? Really? Because I sure as hell lost some good colleagues and friends over some of the most pointless issues ever in the military. And they were over someone else's shit (Yugo).

When you take a dangerous job, expect dangerous situations. He needs to be willing to lay down his life for it. It's what he agreed to when he excepted the job.

I just wanted to be the first to say RIP in advance

Sorry you got downvoted, that was pretty funny

That's a fucked up thing to say FYL

Oh, lighten up. It's FML, we're supposed to laugh at these posts, not fear for everyone's safety. If OP is really scared, he will talk to his boss or someone. I'm sure this was posted for some laughs and some off-color jokes. So many people on here turn this place into a big pity party, and take everything so seriously.

I don't think you understand the point of FML...

Or #77 they're really just attention seeking whores who want sympathy from everyone to make themselves feel better about themselves

Might be time to invest in some Kevlar.

They wouldn't send you there if they didn't think you were ready, OP. Good luck.

You never know. Some asshat couldn't care less. Not that these represent the majority but idiots exist, even in positions of power.

Maybe OP lied about experience just to get the job.

hahahahaha. they don't give a shit. my "training" for security was an online multiple choice test where they gave you the answer then asked the question.

From a CA security guard-Not true.

yeah, I had a three week course for security, no online stuff, no multiple choice questions. I still wouldn't agree to go into an area like that un armed, or without back up.

#32 especially in positions of power*

It can't always be crazy bag ladies and shoplifting teenagers, that would get boring!

I don't think it's legal for them not to tell you the exact job description, including location. Are you sure you didn't overlook it in the paperwork?

I think any place where you work as security guard there is the inherent risk of bodily harm. I'm sure OP signed a form that absolved his employer of any liability.

I use to work as a security officer. I never got a liability paper to sign or nothing of the sort.

For my job I had to. Guess my employer has better lawyers ha ha.

There's a "dodged a bullet" joke somewhere in there..

Well, shit. Let's hope for the best that nothing crazy happens! Stay Safe man.