Today, my husband won't shave his beard, despite the fact it grows in wiry and looks like pubic hair. He is now accusing me of "not loving him for who he is." FML
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By
GhostFox
| 33
Rational Adult response: Tell him that the texture is really off putting and makes kissing him extremely uncomfortable and even painful from the beard-burn. (Yes, that is an actual thing.)
Dickish and Passive Aggressive option: Assuming he takes showers, fill shower head with dye and glitter in his two least favorite clashing colors.
Major Asshole option: While he sleeps, put something sticky and stretchy in his beard, like gum. Brightly colored would be even more effective.
While two and three would probably have a higher success rate, they are obviously asshole things to do and could put strain on the marriage- well, more than it sounds like it is already- from you trying to control his body.
Unless he nags you about your hair/beard/breasts/something-else- beard-equivalent-for-women, don't pester him about his. He might get bored of it or it might look and feel better once it grows out more. He can also condition it like one would condition the hair on top of the head to soften it and at least make the texture of individual hairs better.
Dickish and Passive Aggressive option: Assuming he takes showers, fill shower head with dye and glitter in his two least favorite clashing colors.
Major Asshole option: While he sleeps, put something sticky and stretchy in his beard, like gum. Brightly colored would be even more effective.
While two and three would probably have a higher success rate, they are obviously asshole things to do and could put strain on the marriage- well, more than it sounds like it is already- from you trying to control his body.
Unless he nags you about your hair/beard/breasts/something-else- beard-equivalent-for-women, don't pester him about his. He might get bored of it or it might look and feel better once it grows out more. He can also condition it like one would condition the hair on top of the head to soften it and at least make the texture of individual hairs better.
By
Jatok
| 17
That picture is way better than this FML.
By
neuronerd
| 28
My boyfriend and I have a policy, "your body, your decisions." Unless it's a health concern, you don't really have a say. It's just a beard. If it really looks that terrible, he'll figure it out on his own.
Reply
SneezyBear
| 27
Sure, but sexual attraction in a marriage is important. If someone changes their appearance to the point where the other partner no longer finds them attractive, that IS something that should be discussed.
Reply
RinoaHeartilly
| 36
Should be discussed, but that doesn't mean she can make him shave it off, which it sounds like she is trying to do. You can discuss, you can ask but if they don't want to you then you have to let them be them.
By
Glowworm56
| 25
My developmentally disabled brother is the same way about his beard. Every time it gets a bit crazy, we tell him we need to take him to the hair cutter to get it under control. He claims it's his "style." No, that's not a style, that's a crazy hobo beard.
Reply
RinoaHeartilly
| 36
OP didn't say their husband is developmentally disabled, so this is completely different.
Reply
Glowworm56
| 25
Yeah, I know the husband isn't developmentally disabled. However, my brother is known to be quite stubborn about keeping his beard. We used to shave it at home for him--it got pretty loud and angry in there at times.
By
sosterbeck
| 7
Well you have bits you probably shave, so quit shaving, turn about is fair play
By
tanman230
| 10
technically they are pubes
Reply
raven_of_azarath
| 32
Technically, they aren't. Pubes are hairs that grow in the pubic region, aka the crotch. That bone is called a pubic bone. Any hair anywhere else could not be called pubes.
Reply
Mungolikecandy
| 19
However, as it is hair which does not develop until after puberty it is still pubic hair.
Reply
pjsr
| 32
No. Technically, it's pubic hair. Pubes is a made up word, aka slang.
By
jennisyn
| 11
Get him some beard balm and encourage him to moisturize it. Be more affectionate and get beard burn on your face and spin it that you can't make out under these circumstances
By
HalfLit
| 17
I mean, you kind of aren't loving him for who he is. Men have beards. Deal with it.
Reply
SighOfTheWorld
| 7
Women have body hair and I'd like to see a man who loves them for who they are and deals with it. :)
Grooming should go both ways!
Grooming should go both ways!
Reply
RinoaHeartilly
| 36
If a guy doesn't love a girl he's been with because she decides not to shave anymore then he's as much of a dick as OP is being.
By
Brittany Miron
| 3
I would tell him to shave the pubes off his face before he catches face crabs. My hubby has the same problem except he can't grow a full beard. So in order to keep him from looking like patches the pube clown I make fun of him
Reply
RinoaHeartilly
| 36
That's awful! Why would you mock and tear down the confidence of the person you say you love?!
Reply
Brittany Miron
| 3
I would rather save him from being publicly humiliated by spending a couple mins destroying the notion that he thinks he can grow a full beard. Not to mention he does the same thing to me, but in different aspects. He has confidence blowing out his ears. cooler than a cucumber.
Reply
ACCOUNTKILLER
| 18
The only person he would be catching crabs from is you??? Also you are not saving him the pain of humiliation by inflicting it upon him- do you honestly think several strangers could hurt him more than the person who is supposed to love, support and respect him?
By
Mungolikecandy
| 19
A beard is pubic hair.
Dickish and Passive Aggressive option: Assuming he takes showers, fill shower head with dye and glitter in his two least favorite clashing colors.
Major Asshole option: While he sleeps, put something sticky and stretchy in his beard, like gum. Brightly colored would be even more effective.
While two and three would probably have a higher success rate, they are obviously asshole things to do and could put strain on the marriage- well, more than it sounds like it is already- from you trying to control his body.
Unless he nags you about your hair/beard/breasts/something-else- beard-equivalent-for-women, don't pester him about his. He might get bored of it or it might look and feel better once it grows out more. He can also condition it like one would condition the hair on top of the head to soften it and at least make the texture of individual hairs better.