Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML
Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. Fifteen minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML
Today, my roommate invited a couple of homeless gentlemen in to our house. After drinking all our beer, throwing up on our carpet, and repeatedly asking if we were planning on killing them, I asked them to leave. My roommate told them they're welcome back anytime. FML
Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number showed up on my doorstep to inquire about my couch for sale. With his wife. FML
Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML
Today, I went over to the house of a guy I have hooked up with a few times. After we got done, I asked him why we were not in the room across the hall. He said that was his twin brother's room. FML
Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML
Today, my best friend came over for dinner and a movie. Moments after arriving, she spent an hour on the phone, and ended up accepting another invitation before leaving. I guess it's dinner for one tonight. FML
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Top comments
Nolimit2217 32
Is your friend Charlie Sheen?!
myusername83 10
Well at least you get to spend quality time with him still...with hookers
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Comments (97)
kenleybunch 15
I had no clue hookers made house calls
botanistjessica 24
Wow, really? Isn't that the whole point?
SuckMeBeautifu1 24
15 i think its time to leave the basement..
thisguy22 33
I would assume that a good number of them would not feel safe going to someone's private residence. I know, were it me, I would rather have the other people and probable surveillance of a hotel, or even only doing in house, have them come to you, work. Just a thought...
RedPillSucks 31
High priced hookers definitely do.
wanted_2_want 40
You'll need a new couch!!
Priyaroshni 40
If OP let them stay, I wonder if the friend expected OP to lend them the bedroom? It's just all levels of wrong.
thatkidmal 15
Lol is your friend Stu from the hangover?
Bilbo_Swaggins 5
How would he think thats okay?
sharpshooterben 13
Well you could tell him the price for room and board is a hooker for you...
olpally 32
Hahaha. Definitely a Charlie sheen move. Are you Alan Harper? :) haha.
Mynamewontfi 40
It's only unacceptable if he didn't get one for you too.
SinovaMikas 10
looks like he has money to pay rent...or maybe some services for trade.
damnit1989 16
I assume if he is your friend, you would maybe know whether or not he actually likes hookers. If so, then you would've known he was not joking. Also, even if it was a joke, you still could've tacked a no onto your laughter just in case. Ydi for not actually giving him an answer
vikky538 28
well..he got too comfortable..on your couch...