By eric4 - 23/05/2013 20:11 - United Kingdom - Cheltenham

Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML
I agree, your life sucks 48 453
You deserved it 4 363
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

mpsteve137 15

Punch him in the face and say shit happens bro

284 2
Sir_ND_Pity 35

remind him of that when he finds out he has an STD

207 8

Comments

mpsteve137 15

Punch him in the face and say shit happens bro

284 2
jojimugo 20

#17 .. It's a ironical with a name like yours to tell OP to push his roommate down the stairs ., lol

26 3
firefighter925 18

#33 Hey that's job security for me lol

31 3
fareith 15

He got a hooker and he didn't share? Tsk tsk.

22 2
captainObviously 15

#18 damn bro stairs happen.

5 13
ColdplaySucks 18

I say break his knees till his medical bills equal what you lost.

17 7
RadikulRam 16

He lives in the U.K, he'll serve 15-18years in prison. (Yes, that is an exaggeration).

8 2
empathique_fml 9

That will take quite a while! They don't pay medical bills in the UK. And pay nearly nothing on medication. And get reimbursed the transport to the hospital.

9 2
Reaper1984 13

#34 I have to agree with you ive had a job thanks to idiots for about 10 yrs now. They also provide a good laugh once in awhile, ive seen so much ridiculous stuff i start questioning humanity

1 0
Reaper1984 13

Now that I think about it ive done some pretty stupid in my day and im a firefighter. We are professional only 24 hrs at a time. The next 48 hrs after that its a different ball game

1 0
Sir_ND_Pity 35

remind him of that when he finds out he has an STD

207 8
Offspring_fml 27

We don't really know if he has an STD or not, but karma suits him if he does.

4 28
nbandofbrothers 10

Actually prostitutes are less likely to have an STD.

7 39
happle 21

I'd love to see some evidence or logic behind that.

33 1
MacMonster 10

Now when he complains to you about having an STD, you know what to say.

74 6
AnthonyWheeler15 24

Charge him for his horny expenses.

31 8
CoachBangWhore 5

Why I otta charge you for being a little bastard

4 4
torbey 23

Well we know what your response will be when he gets herpes.

23 10
oNisao 21

Probably gonna need a new roommate.

26 2
epic13 12

You may have to become a prostitute to earn all that back.

64 2
MidnaLink 33

Even I could read the blatant sarcasm in this comment! Thumb her up people!

3 0
melkymac101 17

Well he gave a reasonable response "Shit happens bro" sometimes shit does happen

7 52
Zomg_Okay 26

"Shit happens bro" is not a reasonable response when somebody confronts you about the stuff you robbed from them.

35 4
HaneenDixon 16

I agree with 22. In this case, "shit" didn't happen. His "roommate and a hooker" happened!

13 2
LuckBeNimble 19

22: I agree, but without proof OP is at a loss. besides, what if the prostitute stole it after OPs roommate dutifully paid her with his own money? while OPs roommate is decidedly a douche-nozzle, lets not jump to conclusions.

5 10
GwylaFelidae 7

I am taking the phrase "splash out" to mean that the roommate did not pay the prostitute. If that is the case the prostitute took what s/he could find.

7 2
skatoolaki 24

It isn't a reasonable response since the shit ONLY happened because of the roomie's choice to bring a prostitute into their home. You can't say shit just happens when you're the singular cause of the shitstorm.

3 1
LuckBeNimble 19

64: I see. I understood it to mean "splurge" since I'm not from the UK, I just figured it was a region thing. my apologies!

1 0