By eric4 - 23/05/2013 20:11 - United Kingdom - Cheltenham

Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML
I agree, your life sucks 48 444
You deserved it 4 360

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Punch him in the face and say shit happens bro

Sir_ND_Pity 35

remind him of that when he finds out he has an STD


Punch him in the face and say shit happens bro

jojimugo 20

#17 .. It's a ironical with a name like yours to tell OP to push his roommate down the stairs ., lol

#33 Hey that's job security for me lol

He got a hooker and he didn't share? Tsk tsk.

captainObviously 15

#18 damn bro stairs happen.

I say break his knees till his medical bills equal what you lost.

He lives in the U.K, he'll serve 15-18years in prison. (Yes, that is an exaggeration).

That will take quite a while! They don't pay medical bills in the UK. And pay nearly nothing on medication. And get reimbursed the transport to the hospital.

#34 I have to agree with you ive had a job thanks to idiots for about 10 yrs now. They also provide a good laugh once in awhile, ive seen so much ridiculous stuff i start questioning humanity

Now that I think about it ive done some pretty stupid in my day and im a firefighter. We are professional only 24 hrs at a time. The next 48 hrs after that its a different ball game

Sir_ND_Pity 35

remind him of that when he finds out he has an STD

We don't really know if he has an STD or not, but karma suits him if he does.

Actually prostitutes are less likely to have an STD.

I'd love to see some evidence or logic behind that.

Now when he complains to you about having an STD, you know what to say.

AnthonyWheeler15 24

Charge him for his horny expenses.

Why I otta charge you for being a little bastard

Well we know what your response will be when he gets herpes.

oNisao 21

Probably gonna need a new roommate.

You may have to become a prostitute to earn all that back.

Even I could read the blatant sarcasm in this comment! Thumb her up people!

Well he gave a reasonable response "Shit happens bro" sometimes shit does happen

"Shit happens bro" is not a reasonable response when somebody confronts you about the stuff you robbed from them.

I agree with 22. In this case, "shit" didn't happen. His "roommate and a hooker" happened!

LuckBeNimble 19

22: I agree, but without proof OP is at a loss. besides, what if the prostitute stole it after OPs roommate dutifully paid her with his own money? while OPs roommate is decidedly a douche-nozzle, lets not jump to conclusions.

GwylaFelidae 7

I am taking the phrase "splash out" to mean that the roommate did not pay the prostitute. If that is the case the prostitute took what s/he could find.

It isn't a reasonable response since the shit ONLY happened because of the roomie's choice to bring a prostitute into their home. You can't say shit just happens when you're the singular cause of the shitstorm.

LuckBeNimble 19

64: I see. I understood it to mean "splurge" since I'm not from the UK, I just figured it was a region thing. my apologies!