Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating right after I maxed out my credit card buying him everything on his Christmas list. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a box of chocolates for Christmas. I thought it was sweet until I noticed the heart drawn on the back. It's the same box of chocolates I gave him for Christmas. Christmas last year. FML
Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, I hit a new low in my diet. There was a danish sitting on the table in the break room at work, and I wanted it. At the end of day, one of the guys threw it into the dumpster. Guess who just ate a dumpster danish. FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
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Top comments
Buttsexpirate 9
Geez, you remind me of that chocolate guy from spongebob! CHOCOLATE!!!
KennKenn 0
Buy him new ones. Or rewrap the box.
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Comments (111)
mintcar 10
Well at this point you might as well just finish it and buy him new ones.
rulezdunmatter 12
Just remind yourself that most chocolates usually contain a few insect legs whenever you feel like eating some. Usually helps.
Vball6 19
Doesn't help me! I love chocolate(:
xknightlightx 2
Its abit scarey to think about lol reminds me of the chirimoya fruit i once had.. It was so ripe it had its own worms.. They jump too..0.o
123josie123 11
Why is this an FML? Just finish them and buy new ones. Not really sure why you felt the urge to eat them in the first place tho.
ZeDolphinator 7
Explain "caught myself." You mean your hand shot out subconsciously, unwrapped(?)/grabbed the chocolates, and you ate them for a while without even knowing what you'd been doing?
myoukei 31
i gots you chocolate, but i ate it.... ;A;
Enslaved 38
Ugh! You too? I need to go out and buy a few Terry's Milk Chocolate Orange Balls! Yummy!!
Steve95401 49
The dark chocolate orange balls are even better.
MissMeanie 5
I agree Steve.
VDubbGrrl 4
I don't understand the big deal is. Almost every woman deals with huge chocolate cravings (and why wouldn't we when it releases endorphins) so she ate some chocolate that she had in the house....
Hansemans 17
People can have a lot of cravings: borrowing money to buy a new car, skip a day of work just to have fun, have sex with the chick next door that does not want to, eating too much, get totally drunk and start fights with random people, whatever else. The difference between a human and an animal is that humans try to control their desires and animals don't.
Coccinelle_fml 15
So you've controlled every single craving you've ever had then?
Wheredidgrungego 12
I think you need to go to chocoholics anonymous. But you already took the first step: admitting you have a problem :)
sucks2BEyouu 0
chocoholics anonymous? its not like we're hiding the fact that we're eating chocholate. everybody does it. it's perfectly fine in moderation. o.O
kaykay20 0
The fact she ate what was suppose to be a present to someone else then to me she does have a problem.
Hansemans 17
#49: I think agree with you: it is fine in moderation. But that also applies to alcohol, you know.
abbybailey204 19
That's ok. Chocolate is the exception for everything
MrIncredibleSME 3
Self control, discipline, decency- learn them. At least you realized what you were doing and took it as a wake-up call, now the only way you can go is up.