Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating right after I maxed out my credit card buying him everything on his Christmas list. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a box of chocolates for Christmas. I thought it was sweet until I noticed the heart drawn on the back. It's the same box of chocolates I gave him for Christmas. Christmas last year. FML
Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, I hit a new low in my diet. There was a danish sitting on the table in the break room at work, and I wanted it. At the end of day, one of the guys threw it into the dumpster. Guess who just ate a dumpster danish. FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
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Top comments
Buttsexpirate 9
Geez, you remind me of that chocolate guy from spongebob! CHOCOLATE!!!
KennKenn 0
Buy him new ones. Or rewrap the box.
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Comments (111)
andrew1994001 5
How do you catch yourself?
roydawgg 3
I've seen worse, my mother ate all the candy that other people ordered for my school's fundraiser. She did have motive (my parents were divorcing at that time), but it pissed me off so much. I never did fundraising again after that.
ziphii 6
That's just ignorant. Just because someone ate some chocolate, that doesn't mean they are so fat no one would have them! Good grief!
123_omg 19
you sound like my husband. he eats anything and everything in sight. god forbid it be for me, cuz it'd never make it home first.
ilikeapplejuice 7
Gluttony is a problem.
christyk26 0
I am SO glad that I'm not the only one!! Just finished his yesterday :S
chels1994 11
self control...
meanmachine511 0
Wow!!!
ForeverGLFan 6
Don't feel too bad! Chocolate is a weaken for most of us girls! Buy him something else that isn't chocolate :)
frenchfry564 0
And were supposed to feel bad for you?