Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating right after I maxed out my credit card buying him everything on his Christmas list. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a box of chocolates for Christmas. I thought it was sweet until I noticed the heart drawn on the back. It's the same box of chocolates I gave him for Christmas. Christmas last year. FML
Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, I hit a new low in my diet. There was a danish sitting on the table in the break room at work, and I wanted it. At the end of day, one of the guys threw it into the dumpster. Guess who just ate a dumpster danish. FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
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Top comments
Buttsexpirate 9
Geez, you remind me of that chocolate guy from spongebob! CHOCOLATE!!!
KennKenn 0
Buy him new ones. Or rewrap the box.
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Comments (111)
LilysTillie 7
I do that every year, lol. So I always by 2 boxes...one to wrap & one for me ;)
idontknowyou123 0
So you are depressed and on your period. Eat choclate and be happy I ain't judging. Just go make him a sammich.
marissamay25 3
Ha, I've done that before. I just bought him new ones lol he never new.:D
ziphii 6
*knew
TheJester12 15
Nothing wrong with a little cushin' for the pushin' ;)
geod69 8
Were they good
unidentifieduser 23
My only advice to you would be to buy another box of chocolates, wrap them very securely with lots of tape and ribbon and then set the secured box under the tree. That might deter you from further eating your boyfriend's presents.
geon_olam 17
It's ok imaginary boyfriends don't need real chocolate. And if ur stuffing ur face with chocolate I'm guessing your boyfriend is imaginary
cookiemonsterr91 4
oh gosh your life is so messed up, NOT.
makowiec 11
Thats pathetic.
ManlyHotManlyMan 0
Wow ur sad