Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating right after I maxed out my credit card buying him everything on his Christmas list. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a box of chocolates for Christmas. I thought it was sweet until I noticed the heart drawn on the back. It's the same box of chocolates I gave him for Christmas. Christmas last year. FML
Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, I hit a new low in my diet. There was a danish sitting on the table in the break room at work, and I wanted it. At the end of day, one of the guys threw it into the dumpster. Guess who just ate a dumpster danish. FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
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Top comments
Buttsexpirate 9
Geez, you remind me of that chocolate guy from spongebob! CHOCOLATE!!!
KennKenn 0
Buy him new ones. Or rewrap the box.
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Comments (111)
rattusrattus 19
Look. We've all thought about eating chocolate we shouldn't. I've THOUGHT about eating gift chocolate at a time of stress. I didn't though, because they are presents. At least you've learnt something.
Wolvy_fml 3
Nonono you're doing this all wrong. You buy him something he doesn't like, so when he opens it you just say' "oh, well then I guess if you don't want it......."
boardforlife 0
Nah not cool I hope he dumps you if u don't get him Another gift
hateevryone 15
guess you were hungry
aFreedom127 9
Finish the chocolates and give him anal. He'll appreciate it much more.
TheDrifter 24
Going by the comments, this lack of self control is normal and acceptable for females. Time for me to get a mess of chocolate and start trolling the middle schools and senior's homes.
veryhighsleepygu 7
You rack discipline
cheefer 0
Last time I ate someone elses chocolate I got the Hersey squirts
alliteen 3
you cant be THAT low if you have a boyfriend. ^__^
MelTheGreat 23
That is such an American's problem. lol