Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, I was rushing around like a lunatic trying to get my shit together and knocked on my son's door a few times. The fourth time I did it, he shouted at me to just fuck off already because he’s trying to have a wank. Oops, and TMI son, TMI. FML
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Top comments
GIRAFFES 0
Wow. I blame public schools? Harrr. :B
amyzerz 0
What sort of vulgar environment are you raising your kids in? Or is it simply the way our schooling system has come to nowadays... FYL & YDI.
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Comments (880)
SVelasquez 0
Parent fail.
wowfmlife 0
bad mom for sure
NoMercy_fml 0
The younger the plumber; the more efficent the pipe.
crazieeli 0
OMGosh, kids nowadays are getting so effed up. I know some five year olds who already know the word "****" and i'm just speechless.
Amkii 0
That is... awesome. I favorited this. But honestly, you fail as a parent. Great job there, Chief.
pyromance 0
dude, just tell them not to say jacking off, *******, and **** if you don't want them to say jacking off, *******, and ****. if they do it again, take away their favorite shit, i.e. their ipod, xbox, barbie doll, etc. although i seriously doubt that kids who are that young would scream out swears and stuff. when i was 8, the worst word i used was crap, and that's like nothing. i call a bluff here.
KyleOkposofan 0
LMAO at people saying the original poster deserves this. He might actually deserve it, but we will never know for sure as the original post is too vague. There are a number of possibilities of where they learned that sort of language, including but not limited to the following: 1) older sibling. There isn't any specification that those two children aren't the only ones in the house. 2) school. Give me a break with this elementary school children are pure nonsense. Kids aren't as inane as we suspect. Put a hidden camera in an elementary school classroom, and you'll hear the same kind of words being said. Hell, wasn't there a news story a couple months ago of some 3rd graders attempting to tie up, and kill their teacher? Yet they wouldn't say curse words in elementary school? Right... 3) parents at friends' houses. Maybe they heard it from parents of their friends?
z_x_c_v_b_n_m 0
wow... i did not know what "jacking off" was until i was about 10, and never heard of "****" until i was 13... i spent i long time trying to figure out that "c" word that wasn't "crap" it is probably your fault.
memyselfand 0
Wow They say most things kids learn from thier parents so I blame YOU
yaktazuki 0
This is ******* hilarious