Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, I was rushing around like a lunatic trying to get my shit together and knocked on my son's door a few times. The fourth time I did it, he shouted at me to just fuck off already because he’s trying to have a wank. Oops, and TMI son, TMI. FML
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Top comments
GIRAFFES 0
Wow. I blame public schools? Harrr. :B
amyzerz 0
What sort of vulgar environment are you raising your kids in? Or is it simply the way our schooling system has come to nowadays... FYL & YDI.
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Comments (880)
DrAwesome 6
#33, if the kids were 17 and 18, I don't think this would have been much of an FML...
thelarkscaw 0
have you ever tried turning off the tv, sitting down with your children... and hitting them?
Verenek 0
*cough* bad peranting *cough*
awdorable 0
#134- You took the words right outta my mouth.. Even though I never had a child(I'm 13, for God's sake), don't use violence OP- I'm sorry, I find this mildly hilarious. I'm 13, and I swear like that, but never at home. Tell your kids that if they wanna swear do it at school. Blame it on the TV, Blame it on the pu-public school system, b-blame it on the pu-public school system. Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaa
LizzysOwner 17
You're definitely a great role model, huh? Oh, no, I'm sure they picked up "jacking off" and "****" on the playground...
zach2556 0
Damn man, I didn't know what a **** was untill I was 13, I never even heard the word untill I started listening to Eminem haha.
crvenazvezda 0
#3 your 100% right!!!! wtf is up with that!?!?!? parent fail!!
wowfmlife 0
oh god, i dont want to meet these kids as teenagers
HAHAHSUCKS4YOU 0
im calling bs.....or ydi they dont just think of these words...bad parenting for not knowing what your kids are learning
OMGQueenB 0
#188, seriously, wtf. And by the way, I learnt swear words (shit etc.) when I was about 12. I heard kids call other kids "knobs" at about age 13, but had no idea what it meant until I was about 15. I never once heard my parents swear until I was at least 16, so the words I learnt had nothing to do with my parents. That said, I still rarely swear. My parents never told me what I was and wasn't allowed to say, I judged for myself that those things weren't nice to say. It's got nothing to do with parenting.