Miscellaneous: Today, I got off from work and noticed that the weather finally...

By Chris Altenbach - 23/02/2010 20:55 - United States

Today, I got off from work and noticed that the weather finally warmed up after the recent snowstorm. I hopped into my car and rolled down the windows. When I opened the sun roof, a foot of snow came falling into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 412

You deserved it 45 834

Miscellaneous

Taking stock

Burn out

Working from home rules!

By Going to work naked tomorrow - 11/12/2018 04:00 - United Kingdom - Northallerton

Today I remembered to put my work uniform in the wash; as I hit start I got an email notification. My landlord confirmed that the engineer will be out to fix the washing machine tomorrow after my housemate reported it as broken. My clothes are locked in the machine that now won't turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 164

You deserved it 207

By "Brittney Anderson" - 24/03/2019 14:00

Today found out I need to have emergency surgery which is extremely convenient considering I'm literally supposed to be moving out of state in 2 days and my whole house is completely packed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 084

You deserved it 121

By Sisi - 29/08/2016 16:49 - United States - Mesa

Today, my roommate left a bomb looking package of cookies on the kitchen counter. My sweet tooth got the best of me and I made that split second decision of, "Oh, I'll just have one." Halfway through it, I noticed the fine print, "For dogs" on the package. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 482

You deserved it 11 076

Word salad

By Mardy Shaber - 19/12/2020 20:02

Today, my dad was so dizzy, he couldn't get out of bed. I called his doctor but sadly I confused the word "vertigo" with "libido." The doctor may have been impressed but offered me no helpful suggestions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 356

By anonymous - 08/03/2010 15:12 - United States

Today, my mother-in-law grounded me because I went to the store in the "dangerous" rain. My husband says that if I don't obey then we won't work out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 563

You deserved it 4 962

By anti-drugs - 21/03/2011 10:57 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 212

You deserved it 4 250

By ishouldhavebeenbornrich - 14/09/2016 16:28

Today, at work, a man wanted to buy a garden hose which came up on the till as £1.99. He said that it was wrong and that it should be £1.89, so he then demanded that I called someone down to set it right. He held 20 customers up for 15 minutes to get 10p off a garden hose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 506

You deserved it 1 216

By hurtinrealbad - 16/10/2012 17:25 - United States - Tempe

Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 041

You deserved it 1 964

By Anonymous - 25/06/2013 17:16 - United States - Surprise

Today, while walking around town, some guy grabbed me from behind, clutched at my nipples, and said, "That's where I always imagined they were." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 108

You deserved it 4 281

Omicron : Origin story

By IHaveThePower - 30/11/2021 11:01 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I went in for a job interview. Apparently, this company feels masks are optional, vaccines are optional, and I don't ever need to visit my grandmother with dementia again. Luckily, I was able to escape before I needed to quarantine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 459

By Ohdear - 16/06/2019 15:08 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I was holding the ladder while my husband was in the attic, and I let out a silent fart, thinking he wouldn't notice. A minute later, he complained of the dreadful smell and told me he was checking for a dead animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 601

You deserved it 573

Lonesome Tonight

By Is_This_Real - 30/03/2016 20:46 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, the only constant person in my life is the guy that smokes outside my apartment building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 053

You deserved it 1 513

By SeverelyAnnoyed - 31/03/2016 17:53 - Netherlands

Today, a crow somehow got stuck in my ceiling. It's been making tons of noise for 9 hours now, including crowing very loudly. I live in a one-bedroom apartment, I have no access to the attic and the property owner doesn't give a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 491

You deserved it 1 129

By neoteck - 08/01/2009 07:55 - France

Today, I was talking to a charming young lady on MSN by webcam. She suddenly asked me to take my glasses off for a minute; I did so, and she said, "Oh never mind, you're still just as ugly..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 057

You deserved it 2 540

The Spectacular Spider-Thief

By Anonymous - 11/05/2018 15:00

Today, I went to a comic shop to celebrate Free Comic Book Day. A guy in a really nice Spider-Man costume showed up, so I asked and got a selfie with him on my way out. When I got home, I realized my wallet was missing from my back pocket. I was robbed by Spider-Man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 802

You deserved it 473

By I wish it was gum - 23/10/2018 12:00

Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 953

You deserved it 657

By Anonymous - 26/08/2014 21:46 - Bosnia and Herzegovina - Tuzla

Today, I wore a sexy nurse's outfit for a little roleplay with my boyfriend. After the main event, he said the sex was actually pretty bad and that he should file a medical malpractice lawsuit. Then he laughed at his own joke, got dressed, and went out for drinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 624

You deserved it 6 633

Domestic bliss

By Good_old_Grim - 15/10/2009 13:51 - Latvia

Today, I stumbled upon my girlfriend's Twitter account that I didn't know existed. A recent entry states that living with me is pathetic; "it's just that the current economical situation doesn't leave her with many options." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 682

You deserved it 2 807

Didn't see ya there

By stillhurting - 05/01/2014 21:45 - Canada - Langley

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 658

You deserved it 7 546

By flying solo - 28/01/2009 22:35 - United States

Today, my roomate took the toilet paper out of my bathroom. I went into his room to look for it, only to find a large wad of it balled up near his laptop and mouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 100

You deserved it 2 214

By love-shot - 17/08/2013 08:24 - United States - Hays

Today, I discovered that when my crush leans in to kiss me, I get so nervous I throw up. Then throw up again thinking about how embarrassed I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 984

You deserved it 7 821

By balancestrikesagain - 24/04/2009 09:37 - United States

Today, I was getting onto an airplane and happened to admire the stewardess. I was walking onto the plane and was just about to talk to her when my foot slipped into the crack between the boarding ramp and the plane. Not only did she laugh as I limped to my seat but now I have bruised nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 346

You deserved it 10 714

Naughty boy

By Anonomous - 29/12/2013 00:31 - United States - Plainfield

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 874

You deserved it 4 135

By Jarryd - 10/02/2012 05:40 - Australia

Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 499

You deserved it 7 461

By RckRagman - 30/04/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 180

You deserved it 11 455

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 21/07/2020 17:01

Today, my daughter locked herself in the bathroom having a tantrum after her boyfriend dumped her. So, out of sheer desperation, I had to sit in the kitchen sink for a pee, which is when my husband walked in with his mother and sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 371

By Brummsta - 27/01/2010 07:41 - Australia

Today, I woke up with a cordless drill on my bed. The one I lent my neighbour last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 902

You deserved it 2 593

By Jaayoung23 - 14/01/2010 15:47 - France

Today, my sister won a bet. She bet my best friend a burrito that I wouldn't lose my virginity within a year. I am twenty and have to drive my friend to Del Taco so he can buy my sister her victory burrito cause I didn't get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 591

You deserved it 4 381

By raquel - 17/07/2015 16:40 - United States

Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 068

You deserved it 10 130

By Anonymous - 21/09/2015 17:47 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, when I woke up, one half of my face was smooth and clear and the other half looked as if I got slapped by the Hand of Puberty itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 831

You deserved it 1 849

Send 'em in anyway

By mega_bite - 25/08/2021 13:31 - India

Today, again I wrote out another FML. Again, I deleted it before posting. Every FML I write would seem like I'm just making stuff up, or would be so obviously me that it would just cause me grief. My life is just an endless stream of weird stuff I can't tell family or friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 252

By footstuck - 13/11/2013 17:51 - United States - Winterville

Today, I superglued the sole back into my shoe. Unfortunately, the glue didn't dry as quickly as it said it would on the bottle. The glue seeped through the sole and my foot got superglued to my shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 456

You deserved it 12 580

By offendedfemme - 26/08/2009 02:16 - United States

Today, I was walking with my husband, holding hands, when a man with a rainbow shirt on came up to us. He said, "I'm so glad that gay men can go out in public without being embarassed nowdays!" He patted me on the back and walked away. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 836

You deserved it 6 470

By ak - 02/03/2009 21:26 - United States

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and says "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 602

You deserved it 11 343

By Anonymous - 17/01/2015 18:11 - Australia - Perth

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that The Interview wasn't a documentary and that Kim Jong-un wasn't actually assassinated by a pair of goofy reporters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 433

You deserved it 6 295

Denial

By Unhappy32 - 17/01/2022 11:01

Today, my homophobic mother is arranging to set me up with a wealthy 46 year-old man who has agreed to marry me. I’m 19 , a lesbian, and I’ve been in a committed relationship for the past couple of years. My mother will stop at nothing. This is the fourth guy she's tried to set me up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 107

Wankers of the world unite!

By ari - 19/03/2012 05:49 - United States

Today, I found out why teenage boys have "Keep out" and "Please knock" signs on their bedroom doors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 822

You deserved it 53 129

By bakingwomannnnnnnn - 20/11/2013 07:59 - United States - Redding

Today, I was cussed out by a customer who was unhappy, and he asked to speak with my manager. When I told him I owned the store, he said that that was the problem. Apparently women are "too flaky" to run a bakery properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 782

You deserved it 3 124

By Anonymous - 11/08/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my 7-year-old cousin has been having raging temper tantrums, added to an inability to tell the truth, and a disturbingly sociopathic nature. I'm pretty sure I'm seeing a psychopath in the making, and I'm stuck living here for 2 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 215

By oncehipjr - 03/10/2014 19:04 - United States - Dallas

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 285

You deserved it 4 509

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ladysandry 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 1:02

You didn't know there was snow on you're roof? How can you not know?

bigpapi210 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 1:17

YDI how can you not see snow on top of your car?? what a dumbass!

ladysandry 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 1:02

You didn't know there was snow on you're roof? How can you not know?

ImaginaryFoe 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 1:10

I am thinking OP forgot in the excitement over the warm weather.

StoryOfTheYear 13

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 1:37

I get what you mean, but how would that make him not notice the foot of snow? I guess he sat down in the car and is like, nice weather, thump, snow

ravensunnyd 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 1:37

I have to agre whith imaginaryfo

giggity123 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 1:59

HAHAHA THAT MADE MY DAY HAHA

DGross 8

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 2:10

I would have thought instead of seeing the beautiful sky the OP would have seen a solid lump of snow through his sunroof before he opened it... oh well

Stardude64 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 3:15

Well what do you expect!!! Cupcakes to fall out???

Zamax 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 3:36

Well the real question is how dumb the OP is. Most, if not all, sunroofs open slowly. And we all know how the snow all the way at the bottom is usually the softest and most powdery. So as the OP opened his sunroof, snow should have fell into his car bit by bit. I think that sums it up pretty well.

Felendris 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 3:51

err. I don't think he forgot. I call fake. he lives in COLARADO (or however you spell it, screw spelling -_-). there's no way OP couldn't have expected this if it's true.

Theblue_fml 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 4:25

That's what ya get when ya let your heart win! whoa~o~o~o!

swimchic007 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 4:25

@42 YEEEESSSSS!!!!! lol that made my day! @OP honestly, sure its a little warmer but obviously if theres a foot of snow on your car its not really that warm, so you probably didnt need your windows open anyway...and if the snow was on your car im sure it was on the ground as well...ydi for not noticing.

swimchic007 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 4:27

and 53, paramore is amazing :)

jizwiz 3

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 4:47

THATS NOT SNOW... ITS SEMEN!! OP might wanna get himself checked..

paper_tigers 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 5:01

what kind of car does OP drive? i dont think my sun roof would open with a foot of snow on it. i think the motor wouldnt lift and slide with that much weight...

DemonChicken 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 5:41

did he not see the snow when he walked up to it and unlocked it??how????

meccamack 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 5:51

exactly,

TheDern 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 5:59

LOL

juniorsgay 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 6:54

IDIOT!!!! I mean really?

killmer 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 6:59

hey op do u live in Iowa by any chance!! :D

icifresh911 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 7:19

Totally agree with you.. ^^^^

fallcakes 0

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Wednesday 11 August 2010 4:05

YDI

blooglekoogle 0

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Tuesday 21 June 2011 4:05

didn't you idk see the snow on the roof?? if not your blind. not that I have anythin against blind people, it's just true...

TheUnknown_fml 9

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 1:03

mayb it was falling from the tree or something. but still YDI for not noticing :)

3DLoli 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 1:15

OP is a faggot.

Sharpam 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 1:03

lol wut a retard...

boopityboppity 11

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 2:56

You apparently can't spell "what," and therefore aren't really in a position to be calling anyone a retard.

jinky58 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 5:36

win ^^^

helo2 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 6:12

lmao x6

demon1k 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 6:55

WAT

Gibby_fml 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 17:02

YDI it for not sweeping the snow off your car. and for being stupid.

iRobynM 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 1:04

lmao, you didn't see that coming?

deathcab7 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 4:34

op fails. how would you not know therewas snow there? although, this made my day !

theRebel_of_life 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 1:04

wow. that is soo..... just WOW.

converseTMB 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 1:04

oh wow smooth!

WallyTheWombat 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 1:08

"I got off from work..." Work gets you off? I wish I liked my job that much.

kooner55 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 1:11

win!

Bamfy 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 3:30

zing!

killerviral 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 7:15

lol zing rtard

anna15243 6

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Saturday 14 January 2012 1:37

wtf is wrong with you? you're a moron

PermAmreP 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 1:08

Totally YDI

heavyset 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 1:10

so sad the stupidity of people these days

Z1LVER 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 1:12

lol you should check first. that would probably happen to but theirs no snow in salinas =P

Nearly

Today I ripped my lovely £50 coat on barbed wire, what I only worn a hand full of times, ended up having to spend £10 to get it repaired, have to wait till Friday to pick it up, it’s only Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 7

Today, a tech came to repair my cracked phone screen. He told me to remove my case and took it to his van in my driveway to fix it. Thirty minutes later, he rings my doorbell and hands me my phone back. He says he fixed the screen but tripped and dropped it walking back to my house, and completely shattered the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 4

Spicy

Today, I spent all day waiting for an unlikely follow up text from the girl from Tinder I let peg me on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 887

Today, I swear I'm off men for good after my latest dud date wanted me to pee on his chest to turn him on, and we were only 20 minutes into the first date. The entire male gender are disgusting pigs, no matter how nice they pretend to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 1 089

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