Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, as I was leaving for work, I discovered my neighbor had just passed away. I found out when I came across his body lying in my front yard. FML
Today, my downstairs neighbor died. I knew because the smell wafted up to my apartment. FML
Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML
Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML
Amityville
Today, I was painting my new house when my neighbor introduced himself. Mid-conversation, he said, "The lady who lived here was nice, but just couldn't get over her husband hanging himself in the garage. Or her son shooting himself in the basement." I'll never sleep again. FML
Unrequited callousness
Today, I heard that my crush’s dog had died. For some reason, my first instinct when I saw him was to say, “Oh my god, I heard that your dog died!” He started crying. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Don't mind me
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
You would scream too
Today, I got home from work and discovered that my dog dug up my bunny who died a couple of weeks ago. The scream I screamed made the new neighbor think I'm crazy. FML
Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML
Top comments
ctlnaaia71 8
you r a f*cking asshole.
Frickmetinajenks 0
I hope people say that abput you when YOU die. That's a shitty thing to say. YDI.
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Comments (177)
whistlepig21 0
if u were a ginger she couldnt stare into ur soul
EpicFishFingers 0
His wife might not have thought he was an asshole...
RachIzHere 0
ummm.
jaidonsafira 0
What soul?
redbeezy 0
u r a heartless bitch you must of never lost someone like your mom or dad when they die then mybe you will get a heart you ****** BITCH
flufferheadfool 0
heartless ass. fhl, her husband died and her neighbor, supposed to be comforting her, is a douchebag.
blue_ducky 1
gos you are such a BITCH! i know people that i hated beyond reason that have passed away and still i dont say ''its about time!'' have more respect for the dead! stupid bitch
guppy40000 0
thats why you dont speak ill of the dead
jolly12 0
**** you bitch
agirlnamedlogan 5
It's about goddamn time you keel over. Jerk.
Sirin_fml 47
If you try posting a comment and antiflood stops you, it clears the reply to number, so you have to click to reply to the comment a second time. Maybe that's what happened.