Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, as I was leaving for work, I discovered my neighbor had just passed away. I found out when I came across his body lying in my front yard. FML
Today, my downstairs neighbor died. I knew because the smell wafted up to my apartment. FML
Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML
Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML
Today, I was painting my new house when my neighbor introduced himself. Mid-conversation, he said, "The lady who lived here was nice, but just couldn't get over her husband hanging himself in the garage. Or her son shooting himself in the basement." I'll never sleep again. FML
Today, I heard that my crush’s dog had died. For some reason, my first instinct when I saw him was to say, “Oh my god, I heard that your dog died!” He started crying. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
Today, I got home from work and discovered that my dog dug up my bunny who died a couple of weeks ago. The scream I screamed made the new neighbor think I'm crazy. FML
Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML
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Top comments
ctlnaaia71 8
you r a f*cking asshole.
Frickmetinajenks 0
I hope people say that abput you when YOU die. That's a shitty thing to say. YDI.
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Comments (177)
dog_in_yard 0
She couldn't possibly be looking in to your soul, seeing as you obviously don't have one. Asshole.
datboycam18 0
Well now whos the asshole?
Alanah101 0
I wouldn't be surprised, if he came back and haunted you. ;) YDI!
city_gurl 0
but this amazes me... you are all ripping on the person for saying something so horrible but then your saying the same thing about him... what he said was bad but how can you scold him for saying it and then wish him dead in return?!?
Mr25_fml 14
Lmao. You a real nigga for saying that in front of their wife. I give you props
evil_toad 0
**** you ya stupid bitch
AtrumMessor 1
Based on this FML, "deep into [your] soul" isn't very deep...
littlelamb0428 0
your a ******* asshole. no fml necessary here. that shit shoulda never been said, you deserved o have her look at you like that
Rowan222 0
What the heck is wrong with you?
legohead11 5
asshole