Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was leaving for work, I discovered my neighbor had just passed away. I found out when I came across his body lying in my front yard. FML
Today, my downstairs neighbor died. I knew because the smell wafted up to my apartment. FML
Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML
Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML
Today, I was painting my new house when my neighbor introduced himself. Mid-conversation, he said, "The lady who lived here was nice, but just couldn't get over her husband hanging himself in the garage. Or her son shooting himself in the basement." I'll never sleep again. FML
Today, I heard that my crush’s dog had died. For some reason, my first instinct when I saw him was to say, “Oh my god, I heard that your dog died!” He started crying. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
Today, I got home from work and discovered that my dog dug up my bunny who died a couple of weeks ago. The scream I screamed made the new neighbor think I'm crazy. FML
Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML
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Top comments
ctlnaaia71 8
you r a f*cking asshole.
Frickmetinajenks 0
I hope people say that abput you when YOU die. That's a shitty thing to say. YDI.
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Comments (177)
fmlluver1415 6
I dont think u have a sole bastard
iBangPoptarts 0
is she a nun?
mileyfan17 8
Your an asshole. They could have been going through something that u didn't know about.
SigmaSky 5
You totally deserve it. But for some reason, even though I know it's horrible, I laugh my ass off every time I read this. XD
k99 5
**** all you. There is a good chance the neighbor was an asshole. Just because he died I'm supposed to feel bad?Screw that! People are always like " I want him to die" and once they do, being happy about it is wrong. You go OP, forget the whiners.
THE_A_TEEN 28
There is a chance that the neighbor really was an asshole and all of you are being insensitive buttfucks. I give props to the op. Most of you are very hypocritical, you're all angry for him saying that but in return, you say hurtful shit like one commenter said earlier "shoot yourself". What a shame.
Fmylife107 5
Even if he was an asshole, that doesn't mean you should be happy that he died!
jmelsha11 11
Lol
trussellx 2
You Insensitive asswipe
Bebo_Loddy 0
ur neighbors the asshole???? more like u
Fmylife107 5
You never say something like that when people die!!how f*cking stupid are you! How do you think that family is going to feel? God, your an asshole!!!