Animals: Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was...

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 08:25 - United States

Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 119

You deserved it 68 226

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Same thing different taste

By Jedi2500 - 15/02/2012 23:53 - United States

Today, as I was leaving for work, I discovered my neighbor had just passed away. I found out when I came across his body lying in my front yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 435

You deserved it 2 163

By Anonymous - 06/02/2012 10:38 - United States

Today, my downstairs neighbor died. I knew because the smell wafted up to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 071

You deserved it 2 639

By unknown52 - 02/12/2011 02:02 - Netherlands

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 806

You deserved it 3 765

By Oops - 02/11/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 611

You deserved it 14 934

Amityville

By bumpinthenight - 20/04/2020 08:00

Today, I was painting my new house when my neighbor introduced himself. Mid-conversation, he said, "The lady who lived here was nice, but just couldn't get over her husband hanging himself in the garage. Or her son shooting himself in the basement." I'll never sleep again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 992

You deserved it 334

Unrequited callousness

By Anonymous - 07/02/2022 04:01

Today, I heard that my crush’s dog had died. For some reason, my first instinct when I saw him was to say, “Oh my god, I heard that your dog died!” He started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 782

By Matti - 17/08/2018 22:00

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 175

You deserved it 236

Don't mind me

By Anonymous - 16/04/2012 12:38 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 004

You deserved it 3 393

By CoolStoryBro - 29/03/2013 08:23

Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 831

You deserved it 3 593

By Anonymous - 24/01/2011 05:40 - Egypt

Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 675

You deserved it 4 325

ctlnaaia71 8

Monday 10 January 2011 16:04

you r a f*cking asshole.

Frickmetinajenks 0

Monday 10 January 2011 16:12

I hope people say that abput you when YOU die. That's a shitty thing to say. YDI.

Comments

dirtbike937u 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 7:47

I can understand OP having an asshole neighbor, but why would one ever take pleasure in someone's death? YDI completely

purple_sarah88 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 23:59

YDI. And now you're not even free of having a difficult neighbour because I bet his wife will make your life miserable. I would!

starsbAby 2

Monday 17 January 2011 10:07

I second that^^^

Ninjarear 0

Monday 17 January 2011 21:59

You're the real asshole, its about goddamn time you realized that.

Smiley83 0

Wednesday 26 January 2011 16:49

I feel the same way about my mom in law can't wait for her to die either

chanta24 10

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:51

wow. the man's dead and you STILL feel the urge to talk crap about him??

CaptainAwesome2 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 23:58

You're glad that he died? Douche.

gammielikeoh 0

Monday 4 April 2011 5:23

"staring deep into my soul". okie dokie then.

Googoo27 12

Wednesday 18 May 2011 3:09

what a heartless asshole

miume16 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 4:14

thats sooooo mean

Keywords

Neighbours Cops Weird Miscellaneous Scary Stressed out Health Parents Transportation Cars Embarrassing Work My ex LGBTQIA+ First Dates Love Facebook Social Media Sex Intimacy Virginity Painful School Awkward Dating Tinder Coworkers AITA Jealousy Anxiety

The Top

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 028

You deserved it 5 459

Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 693

The Top

Today, my mom was pulling up weeds on the terrace while wearing gardening gloves. Why is that worth mentioning? Because that's literally all she was wearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 100

Today, I filled out a political survey for a psychology experiment. A really cute girl was doing it, too. We hit it off and flirted through the surveys, and I asked her out when it was done. Then I found out it was really an attraction experiment and she was in on it. She was acting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 881

You deserved it 7 810

Today, I found out that my assistant is now my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 507

You deserved it 3 111

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend, when she walked ahead of me cat-walk style, turned around and said, "Do you think I could model?" I blurted out, "Yes... for a plus-size clothing line." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 056

You deserved it 55 707

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 001

You deserved it 54 677

Today, it's been a full week since my last orthodontist appointment and I still can't eat anything besides Slimfast and pudding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 463

You deserved it 3 265

Same thing different taste

Amityville

Unrequited callousness

Don't mind me

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