Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, as I was leaving for work, I discovered my neighbor had just passed away. I found out when I came across his body lying in my front yard. FML
Today, my downstairs neighbor died. I knew because the smell wafted up to my apartment. FML
Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML
Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML
Today, I was painting my new house when my neighbor introduced himself. Mid-conversation, he said, "The lady who lived here was nice, but just couldn't get over her husband hanging himself in the garage. Or her son shooting himself in the basement." I'll never sleep again. FML
Today, I heard that my crush’s dog had died. For some reason, my first instinct when I saw him was to say, “Oh my god, I heard that your dog died!” He started crying. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
Today, I got home from work and discovered that my dog dug up my bunny who died a couple of weeks ago. The scream I screamed made the new neighbor think I'm crazy. FML
Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML
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Top comments
ctlnaaia71 8
you r a f*cking asshole.
Frickmetinajenks 0
I hope people say that abput you when YOU die. That's a shitty thing to say. YDI.
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Comments (177)
dirtbike937u 0
I can understand OP having an asshole neighbor, but why would one ever take pleasure in someone's death? YDI completely
purple_sarah88 0
YDI. And now you're not even free of having a difficult neighbour because I bet his wife will make your life miserable. I would!
starsbAby 2
I second that^^^
Ninjarear 0
You're the real asshole, its about goddamn time you realized that.
Smiley83 0
I feel the same way about my mom in law can't wait for her to die either
chanta24 10
wow. the man's dead and you STILL feel the urge to talk crap about him??
CaptainAwesome2 0
You're glad that he died? Douche.
gammielikeoh 0
"staring deep into my soul". okie dokie then.
Googoo27 12
what a heartless asshole
miume16 0
thats sooooo mean