Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, as I was leaving for work, I discovered my neighbor had just passed away. I found out when I came across his body lying in my front yard. FML
Today, my downstairs neighbor died. I knew because the smell wafted up to my apartment. FML
Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML
Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML
Today, I was painting my new house when my neighbor introduced himself. Mid-conversation, he said, "The lady who lived here was nice, but just couldn't get over her husband hanging himself in the garage. Or her son shooting himself in the basement." I'll never sleep again. FML
Today, I heard that my crush’s dog had died. For some reason, my first instinct when I saw him was to say, “Oh my god, I heard that your dog died!” He started crying. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
Today, I got home from work and discovered that my dog dug up my bunny who died a couple of weeks ago. The scream I screamed made the new neighbor think I'm crazy. FML
Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML
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Top comments
ctlnaaia71 8
you r a f*cking asshole.
Frickmetinajenks 0
I hope people say that abput you when YOU die. That's a shitty thing to say. YDI.
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Comments (177)
Lolzords 11
My step-grandad is a complete prick, and when he had a stroke, I didn't care in the slightest, but those are the sort of thoughts you have to keep to yourself. YDI.
tjarvis4338 0
Are you sure you're not the asshole neighbor?
Darkblade21 20
ur a douche bag.
Evii_fml 5
Well you're not very nice >:[ ... It should've been you (evil laugh) Muahahahaha!
selamyhead13 0
hah dumb ****!
Shinygirlnz 1
Clearly, you're the one who's an a**hole. Seriously, who hears someone has died and the first thing they can think to say is something so dreadful? I hope you've learned your lesson.
ocastro 3
this is funny. you both deserve it. you for being an insensitive prick and for the neighbor being an asshole.
KittyKatGirl 15
Why do I get the feeling the guy was only an a**hole in OP's opinion because he didn;t do everything possible to make OP's life easier, I mean he sin of all sins, might not have leant a lawnmower at one point. /sarcasm seriously, the kind of person the OP seems to be? quite likely the neighbour was just a normal person.
Doc_Holliday 0
LOL, you are my hero!
InBetweenDreams 0
You're a prick. :/ And this is more like F the wife's life. Her husband died and she's stuck with an asshole for a neighbour.