Today, I have Hello Kitty band-aids on my nips because I dozed off while tanning and burned them extra crispy. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I discovered that I'm allergic to band-aids. I now have a band-aid shaped rash around a tiny cut on my leg. Oh the irony. FML
Today, it was lovely outside so I decided to tan outside. I burn pretty easily, so I put on sunscreen. I fell asleep on my side, so when I woke up, I had a massive burn on only one side of my body, with sunglass lines. Tomorrow, I have a job interview. I'm going to go in looking like a racoon. FML
Today, I fell asleep listening to my music and tanning at the beach. Not only did I wake up with a sunburn, but my iPhone had been stolen. FML
Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML
Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML
Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML
Today I got sunburned on my cheeks. This wouldn't be too bad if they were the ones on my face. FML
Today, I decided to take a relaxing shower. My face mask made my face break out in hives. While exfoliating, my nipples became chafed. Then I slipped and cut myself while shaving. FML
Today, my new bikini must be cheap as shit because I tanned nicely where I put on sunscreen, but where I didn’t apply it under the bikini I’ve gotten super red sunburn on my butt, my lady bits, and my boobs. My nipples look like the ends of red felt tip pens. FML
Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML
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Top comments
AmAzInG123456789 10
I hear if you add a little pepper, crispy nips can be a nice party appetizer.
JustKittyKat 24
Hello titty I dub thee "Bacon Nips"
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Comments (108)
kinky44 28
New meaning to the term "pepporoni nipples"
xerbrus 14
pepperoni
kinky44 28
Duh. Mistakes happen.
Goblin182 26
I didn't know "pepperoni nipples was an expresion. I like though.
karlcolt45 19
wolf nipple chips! anybody remember the Life of Brian?
xerbrus 14
love that movie....even if they do say Jehovah
worldclassrager 39
At least you don't need to worry about people seeing them...
suri23 11
Eeuuwww!
Shadowvoid 33
Hey, with all the bronies out there, you could probably find some guys that are into that.
Andicc 19
Wtf do bronies have to do with burnt nipples?!
arandomusernameaa 20
Hello KITTY is not a pony from MLP... sorry to break that to you.
ohishkabibble 21
Maybe that'll teach you not to tan and keep you from getting melanoma later in your life :). How did you manage that, anyway? I thought most tanning places had timers... Anyway, YDI.
I_cant_think 10
Who says she was tanning in a tanning booth? She could just have been in her backyard naked. That's what I do. The feeling of the grass poking at my butt is so refreshing.
Barlucic 5
Let alone own a tanning bed, My family did back in 2000's.
razi1 20
Well God bless you. :)
ohishkabibble 21
I suppose that is true, that just didn't cross my mind at the time! I'm so used to thinking of people using tanning beds at tanning salons (like my sister used to do), I just kinda assumed she was at a tanning salon. Plus I don't usually expect people to tan topless outside unless they're on their bellies! No matter how she's tanning, though, it's still dangerous and can lead to problems later.
wanted_2_want 40
You deserve a new nickname: "toasty"
uarudeassbitchyo 17
"Extra crispy" done
bcribbles 6
At least you have cute bandaids
bobak_can_ani 7
I thought they keep the underwear on while tanning