Today, after leaving a bar I fell asleep on the Q train heading home. I awoke at 5am in Coney Island, end of the line, to a cop poking me with his baton. He gave me a ticket for "Subway Vagrancy" even though I have a job and an apartment. He didn't ticket the homeless man next to me covered in piss. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took the train home to save a few dollars on an Uber fare. I fell asleep on the train, got a fine for travelling outside of my paid zone, and had to take an even longer Uber home than it would have been from where I started. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for money in a train station bathroom. When I told him I had no money he left. He then returned only to pour a bottle full of urine on my head while I was in the stall. I use a metro card. I honestly had no money. FML
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
Today, I walked into a subway car which was empty except for a sleeping hobo. Three stops later, the guy wakes up and starts peeing in the corner. I ignore it thinking he'll go back to sleep. Silly me, I didn't realize that he would start running towards me, still peeing. FML
Today, I woke up after I had gotten shitfaced, and tossed out of bars by bouncers several times. I even had pictures of my face circulated to other bars not to be served. I then met a woman I almost smoked crack with, and spent the rest of the night following her while she asked random homeless people for free crack. FML
Today, I fell asleep at my bus stop following a long day at work. I woke up to a homeless man giggling after he had clipped dozens of clothespins to my clothes, shoes, and hair in my sleep. FML
Today, I got a ticket for being drunk in public. I was walking a couple of blocks from the bar to my house, because I didn't want to drive drunk. FML
Today, my train was canceled so my ticket expired by the time another train arrived. I was fined $90 by ticket inspectors 'cause my claim that the early train didn't run was "unsubstantiated". Leaving the train I was pushed by the crowd, fell, lost a shoe and had to walk home with one bare foot. FML
Today, trying to get to work just off Eglinton station in Toronto, I slept in, didn't shower, and didn't have money for an Uber, so I jumped on the street car. This was the only time they had people checking tickets. One 200$ fine later, I'm late for work, and after a warning for my tardiness, I was sent home for "stinking." FML
Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML
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Top comments
condescending 0
sucks dude, but seriously, why would he ticket the homeless guy he has no money
brodizzle 0
Explain to a NY cop? lolol
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Comments (84)
YLIF 0
that sucks so bad. 1 caus u were ticketed 2 caus you must have been really far from home
meelmo 0
ahaha
kill3rs 0
He ticketed you because you will pay it. The homeless man will not...
SoFreakinNaive 0
ouchhh!
theluckygirl28 8
That sucks... haha, I remember those days with my friends in the summer... Good times :)
sawdy 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LMFAO!!! :P
crap09 0
Why can't America be nice to homeless people anymore? I mean, they have like nothing left. OP, shit. Maybe you can explain to the cop what happened?
starberries 0
I think it's a little late to explain to the cop. He would need to go to court and explain it to the judge.
brodizzle 0
Explain to a NY cop? lolol
octopussperm125 18
Yeah. The cops here suck
condescending 0
sucks dude, but seriously, why would he ticket the homeless guy he has no money
go_rangers 0
That sucks... my friend was going one stop on the 6 once and fell asleep and wound up in Pelham Bay. Awful. I've wound up in Jamaica several times... freaking E train. Never been ticketed though... that's just bad luck. Sorry dude.
keezybaby_fml 0
maybe you pissed on tha dude... I guess he got his testimonial before yours!
westsideknight 0
Next time you should crap/piss your pants, maybe the cop'll think you're homeless too