Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I fell violently ill half an hour into a flight. I got sick so suddenly that I projectile vomited all over my clothes and the seat in front of me, and to top it all off, I also got diarrhea. Eight more hours to go. FML
Today, I got my own row on an almost full transatlantic flight. All it took was having food poisoning two hours into the flight. FML
Today, on my airplane ride home, the woman next to me wasn't feeling too well. She pulled out the air sickness bag to throw up into and missed. Her vomit splattered all over the seat in front of her and all over me. We were both covered in puke. And that was only my first of two flights. FML
Today, I have the flu, food poisoning, and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML
Today, I was on an early flight home after a night of drinking. I was sat in my seat when I started feeling sweaty and nauseous. I grabbed the puke bag and started gagging, then puking, and a really loud fart came out. Everyone heard it. The attendant switched me seat to sit alone. FML
Today, a toddler threw up on my backpack mid-flight. FML
Today, I got food poisoning. After leaving class 4 times to poop, I sharted in the school bus on the ride home. FML
Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML
Today, I was sick on an airplane. As we were taking off, I felt like I was ready to hurl. I was sitting in the window seat and was unable to get up in time to go to the bathroom so I was forced to grab the nearest container to puke in. It was a glass of juice belonging to the woman next to me. FML
Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML
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Top comments
MetallicaRules19 4
Two tampons and a plug ought to do it.
mea_iloveskiing 26
At least you're not pregnant. =)
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Comments (194)
martinjar12 2
Ever heard of stepping down from the flights?
theskaven 2
You win. FYL OP.
thecovert 7
Clean-up in Row 12, Row 12.
Sucks3 0
life seriously just shit on you... that sucks!
greenie213 23
Don't eat the fish!
EnterSandman_fml 20
Love the SOAD reference.
rosesong2494 3
You poor poor thing!! Whenever I get my period, I get horrible cramps unless I drug myself up on ibuprofen, so I can't even imagine what you're going through if you get even half as bad of cramps as I do. My best advice would be to take the maximum amount of painkillers you can, and try to stay in the bathroom throughout the whole flight. It might not be the most comfortable, but at least you won't have to deal with the constant annoyance and embarrassment that comes with repeatedly getting up and going to the restroom. I'm so sorry for your suffering! I would probably just cry to myself out of misery. :( Feel better!
spacemanspiff78 7
Hope you got an aisle seat
perdix 31
I'm flying today, too. Maybe we can join the Mile High Club today. You sound like a ton of fun;)
Enslaved 38
Mr. 69, you're in luck! She's probably the one sitting next to you in coach!
unknown_user5566 27
Coach? Obviously Perdix only travels in first-class. ;)
JustKittyKat 24
Sexual comment and number 69? You win. Like a sir.
Enslaved 38
I am sure perdix will claim that if you join the mile-high club with him, coach will feel like first class. I'm speaking for him since he's traveling at the moment.
unknown_user5566 27
Ah, touché, Enslaved. Touché.
perdix 31
You two are so cute thinking I fly commercial! Private jet, FTW;) The convenience and service are unmatched, but the downside is that I can't have a chance meeting with a dreamboat like the OP;)
unknown_user5566 27
Gahdamnit. Leave it to you to come up with the best possible option! But you are correct sir, you missed out on the lovely gem that is OP... Bet you regret flying private now. ;)
GSU2013 6
If you chose YDI... YOU'RE A COMPLETE DICK.
Calyx_fml 22
Thar she blows!