Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I fell violently ill half an hour into a flight. I got sick so suddenly that I projectile vomited all over my clothes and the seat in front of me, and to top it all off, I also got diarrhea. Eight more hours to go. FML
Today, I got my own row on an almost full transatlantic flight. All it took was having food poisoning two hours into the flight. FML
Today, on my airplane ride home, the woman next to me wasn't feeling too well. She pulled out the air sickness bag to throw up into and missed. Her vomit splattered all over the seat in front of her and all over me. We were both covered in puke. And that was only my first of two flights. FML
Today, I have the flu, food poisoning, and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML
Today, I was on an early flight home after a night of drinking. I was sat in my seat when I started feeling sweaty and nauseous. I grabbed the puke bag and started gagging, then puking, and a really loud fart came out. Everyone heard it. The attendant switched me seat to sit alone. FML
Today, a toddler threw up on my backpack mid-flight. FML
Today, I got food poisoning. After leaving class 4 times to poop, I sharted in the school bus on the ride home. FML
Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML
Today, I was sick on an airplane. As we were taking off, I felt like I was ready to hurl. I was sitting in the window seat and was unable to get up in time to go to the bathroom so I was forced to grab the nearest container to puke in. It was a glass of juice belonging to the woman next to me. FML
Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML
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Top comments
MetallicaRules19 4
Two tampons and a plug ought to do it.
mea_iloveskiing 26
At least you're not pregnant. =)
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Comments (194)
numbersystem 4
Take an earlier flight before the food poisoning happens. Problem solved.
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
Yes, because we can all predict EXACTLY when we will get food poisoning. GENIUS.
Awsumuzzie 12
Go back in time, you say?
olpally 33
Re-read the FML again, idiot, she already has it and is basically dying in flight.... Jeez. Moron
laden_swallow09 35
13- That joke was too stupid to be funny. Sorry, maybe you'll get it next time.
numbersystem 4
Correct. Flux capacitor trumps FMLs every time. ;)
twisted_cherub 14
Then why not go back to before she ate the food that gave her food poisoning?
spuzak 0
Awww poor thing. I'm sorry
gracehi 33
All your holes hate you. Let's hope your urethra isn't the next to revolt.
reallytho3 11
Her body is going rogue lol
reallytho3 11
Her body is going rogue lol
unknown_user5566 27
It does seem that the female body is often dead-set on making us girls as miserable as possible before or while on our period. Add in sore boobs, menopause, and the responsibility of child birth, and most women can claim the "FML" trophy!
tnttse 6
Distention among the ranks
Cleo88 6
I dont understand your period doesn't just start flowing out, mine usually takes a day from the first sign to when it gets heavy
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Yikes. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I don't know if I could handle it.
calilovesneb 12
Sounds like some bad karma to me.
unknown_user5566 27
I'll never understand why "bad karma" is the go-to comment for every single FML...
Alliente 9
It sounds like you are having a VERY bad day.
graffitied_love 20
Sounds like a new book. OP and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day ;)
cassiebear7652 7
23- You don't say?
Jobby 11
Ha ha excellent, very good title!
Dracoboxer357 36
Wow, sounds messy. :p Sorry Op, fyl.
Mearemoi 14
Let's hope you don't get a bloody nose while your at it.
Mearemoi 14
*you're
smileycupcake62 4
Hope this wasn't a honeymoon! feel better, OP:)
jayfreeman80 0
Was honeymoon mentioned? Hinted at? Get a life moron!!!
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
The only way I can think of this situation getting worse is a runny nose. Cause then you pretty much have it coming from all holes.
doodlecloud 27
As others have said, urethra? And I guess ears and pores too...though I imagine, going through all that, her pores are already pretty active..
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
You're getting a bit too technical. Food poisoning often entails lots of sweating. And besides, the ears are always producing small amounts of wax.