By openmouthinsertfoot - 07/12/2010 17:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to leave my one-night stand in my flat because I was giving a guest lecture at the local university. Halfway through, I hear someone sneaking in so I jokingly asked if they had a 'wild night out.' It was the guy I slept with. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 648
You deserved it 41 869

Same thing different taste

Top comments

What the hell were you thinking leaving a stranger in your flat? While you were gone, he could have tripped over your cat, stolen your cake, and emptied your apartment! Dumbass.


Damn, he should have responded! You call him out in front of everyone, he should tell back "Wild night ******* you in the ass, Sugar ****!". And you can't say shit.

This reminds me of the time Drew Barrymore and I and a one night stand. She didn't take it to well and it led to a very unhealthy addiction to stalking me for 7 years until finally she found a different host. But the sex was phenomenal

Haha 18 ! True =) But anyways, dont leave a one night stand alone in your place.. Your lucky that it wasnt me who was your one night stand cause if it was me, All your stuff would be gone when you would come back..

I know who does that. if you need tips on getting your one night stand out in the morning watch the second season of jersey shore where the situation guides you on how to properly do this.

mshooter 0

You're trying too hard these days 37. Take a break and relax your brain. It'll come. Patience is key my child.

UnderTheMoon 0

Ouch, laid much? Probably not, #77

flyingsheep1838 0

79- chill, your trying to hard to be a bitch. If your not a bitch, trying to fake it won't work, good bitchy comments just come to you. Right now you just sound hormonal and like you have anger management problems. So take a deep breath and let the bitchy comments come to you.

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uhh. he doesn't sound QUITE that stupid, but I see what your getting at. ;)

White_Fury 0

First off one night stands can hurt people. STIs and such. Second, it IS his business because OP posted it on FML making it other peoples business. That is how stupid YOU sound. :)

rayquaza5000 4

I totally like the way no. 40 phrased it.

#40 while some people are smart and safe about sleeping with a ton of people, many aren't. That's where you get the lovely folks who spread STIs around because they're too selfish to keep it in their pants/panties or wrap it up. So their lifestyle can hurt others. And OP, leaving a stranger in your home unattended is, as a few FMLs have shown, quite stupid.

It isn't an "unneccessary condemnation and stigma." If you're sexually promiscuous you've had more chances to contract an STI, especially if you haven't used protection. There is education available on the matter, but the fact that people might have to seek it out for themselves is apparently a huge hindrance. And there is NO EXCUSE for sleeping with someone and not telling them you're infected, especially "oh! I'm afraid of being judged!" Infections aren't free to spread because people are afraid of them, but because people aren't afraid ENOUGH of them to use protection and maybe a little discretion when it comes to number of partners.

That's because you don't catch them from CHOOSING be sexually promiscuous and spread them by CHOOSING not to have safe sex, and they aren't necessarily life-threatening or disfiguring to oneself and whoever they spread it to. Even if you were right about most people not utilizing those in general, if they don't it hurts no one but themselves (minus bad driving). There is a lot of info available on sexual health, whether it be through your school/university, the internet, planned parenthood, etc. Also, I was talking about the people who DO know they're infected but continue sleeping around. There is no good excuse for that, and those who do it are terrible people. Of course they'll be looked down upon! If you choose to have many sexual partners, you should be getting yourself checked routinely. If you can't or don't want to do this, you shouldn't be taking the risk and putting others in danger as well.

Well ok, but have you seen pictures of genital warts? That looks pretty disfigured to me, and they're one of the more common infections. Condoms don't necessarily protect from genital warts. So if someone sleeps around with many strangers, they are far more at risk of catching something than someone who isn't promiscuous because they've had more chances to do so. And no, someone doesn't have to be sexually promiscuous to catch an STI, but it seems a likely scenario that someone who didn't have as many sexual partners caught it from someone who did.

drugfreebaby 1

What the hell were you thinking leaving a stranger in your flat? While you were gone, he could have tripped over your cat, stolen your cake, and emptied your apartment! Dumbass.

No kidding! You can't leave a stranger in your home. If you have to get up early, kick him out! I would say "YDI" for that reason, but I'm not sure exactly what harm came from this situation. So you had sex with a university student... is that a problem? I can't see anything bad in your FML. If you had gotten robbed, that would have been a clear "you deserve it." As it is, you got lucky he just got up and went to class.

kportal69 5

I enjoyed this is made me chuckle. :)

I don't think he had to sneak in... She widely opened up the front door and invited him in for a little rondaevouz.

Actually, Karma Jones is a makeup artist in Niagara Falls. Seriously. Look her up.