Embarrassing, Poopoo peepee and Dating: Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date... - FML

By shithappens - 31/03/2019 14:00

Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 261

You deserved it 685

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Denial

By Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater - 15/07/2016 20:27 - United States - Arlington

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 697

You deserved it 1 021

By MessedXUp - 25/09/2009 16:43 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a new guy after not dating for quite some time. I'd drank a lot of water, so I wouldn't eat so much on the date and look like a pig. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten how funny this guy really was. He made me laugh so hard, I peed all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 480

You deserved it 47 341

By lapines01 - 12/08/2019 02:00

Today, I went on a date with this really cute guy. We were walking in a park and decided to go on the swings. As I was swinging super high up, I threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 479

You deserved it 335

Deal breaker

By frankie - 19/01/2009 01:01 - Canada

Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner, we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it wouldn't flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 911

You deserved it 3 547

By great. - 02/01/2013 18:59

Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 978

You deserved it 3 564

Nerves, dear?

By First date - 30/03/2021 02:00

Today, on my first date with a guy I really like, I threw up not once, not twice, but three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 150

Tonight, on First Dates…

By dumper - 05/11/2009 06:41 - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was, "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 227

You deserved it 5 597

Maturity level

By Clairebear - 07/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. Everything was going surprisingly well, until I knocked over my drink, spilling it all over my date's lap. In a panic, I blurted out, "Dude, did you piss yourself?" Needless to say, there will be no second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 788

By Anonymous - 01/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Greenville

Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 048

You deserved it 1 749

Toxic waste

By Anonymous - 02/09/2022 06:00 - Europe

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at a lake. I felt my stomach rumble and knew I couldn’t make it to shore, so I dropped into the water and had violently diarrhea in the water. It started to bubble, and so I started splashing around, saying, “It’s cold” while she swam around me, in my shit water. I’ve never told her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 441

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 31 March 2019 16:37

Is that a side effect of roofies?

Charlie Given 26

Sunday 31 March 2019 19:59

Just tell him you'll pay for the hot tub clean up and that you had food poisoning maybe he'll still want to date you 🤔

Comments

Amanda Jaworski 23

Sunday 31 March 2019 14:42

And then a big brown shark came...

TumblrweedPasses 11

Sunday 31 March 2019 15:47

Going to assume that was the last date with that guy

jbuckets_404 38

Sunday 31 March 2019 19:28

Let's not jump to conclusions here! Some guys (NOT me!) are kinky that way....

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 31 March 2019 16:37

Is that a side effect of roofies?

jbuckets_404 38

Sunday 31 March 2019 19:20

Don't know, but it's the "floor" of her butt that "gave way" unexpectedly....

Charlie Given 26

Sunday 31 March 2019 19:59

Just tell him you'll pay for the hot tub clean up and that you had food poisoning maybe he'll still want to date you 🤔

zuckerburg 21

Tuesday 9 April 2019 8:52

This is why you don't give alcohol to minors people. They're barely potty trained, and with inebriation, it's even worse. Don't believe me? Give your toddler a bottle of wine and no nappy and see them shit anywhere they like

Keywords

Love Christmas Break-ups Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Relatable Work You're fired Cars Health Covid Cheating Jealousy Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 278

You deserved it 3 577

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 299

You deserved it 14 749

The Top

Today, I tried to study for my upcoming engineering exam. The class I’m in is notorious for being incredibly difficult and is oftentimes the reason for people dropping out of the major. Too bad the dudes in the apartment next to me have a subwoofer and keep playing music that has way too much bass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 109

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to quit my job after being tortured by my boss for months. My boss responded by throwing a hardcover textbook at me and hitting me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 240

You deserved it 900

Today, my little sister got into my anime DVDs, probably thinking they were cartoons. She watched High School DXD, which isn't the best anime for a 6-year-old. Now she wants to be the Breast Dragon Emperor for Halloween and Dad is threatening to set fire to my entire collection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 820

You deserved it 1 500

Today, my mom caught me watching porn, and now she has learned just how easy it is to access porn online, she's sending as many messages as she can to every porn site she can find, telling them they should shut down for the sake of Christian decency. She actually thinks they’ll listen to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 255

Today, I got my very first tattoo. Excited, I sent a picture to my best friend. Her response? "You're joking, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 518

You deserved it 4 496

Today, I was waiting at a traffic light next to an ice cream van. The man in it turned to me and winked, making sexual hand gestures. I felt my childhood die horribly as I watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 201

You deserved it 3 010