Health: Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two...

By Anonymous - 17/11/2009 20:05 - United States

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 562

You deserved it 5 933

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By oh no - 22/06/2015 20:58 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 486

You deserved it 5 288

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 971

You deserved it 7 927

By thanksmom - 09/01/2013 19:57 - United States - Tucson

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 654

You deserved it 7 792

Sitcom vibes

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 401

You deserved it 48 868

By impatient amy - 27/01/2009 14:23 - Ireland

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 886

You deserved it 2 907

By Becca - 31/01/2010 05:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 077

You deserved it 7 039

By Poopie - 29/01/2011 06:06 - Canada

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 223

You deserved it 3 219

By PissNTra - 19/07/2011 17:11 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house to meet her entire family for the first time. Trying not to be rude, I ate their 12-bean and chorizo soup. Now I'm stuck in the bathroom trying to unclog the toilet with no plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 910

You deserved it 5 278

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 297

You deserved it 7 527

Oversharing is caring

By Lauren - 12/10/2011 17:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 466

You deserved it 2 866

eyehurts 0

Tuesday 17 November 2009 23:07

sucks fyl but next time only take one?

SweetieLish 0

Tuesday 17 November 2009 23:41

Yeah, if it was just "slight" constipation, why take 2? Just take one and see how it goes.

Comments

eyehurts 0

Tuesday 17 November 2009 23:07

sucks fyl but next time only take one?

writergirl69 0

Wednesday 14 July 2010 20:14

just say you're sick

drkwlf 0

Tuesday 17 November 2009 23:08

Don't go then.

Insecurfail 0

Tuesday 17 November 2009 23:11

2nd XD oh, and FYL

allmidnighteyes 10

Tuesday 17 November 2009 23:12

You can serve them chocolate pudding for dessert... Back on topic - it's not hard to explain to them that you're not feeling too well. Not a FML for the dinner, but a FML for the unstoppable mudbutt.

meeeep 0

Tuesday 17 November 2009 23:12

tell him your sick so maybe tomorrow night or next week

Insecurfail 0

Tuesday 17 November 2009 23:17

sorry I'm 3rd so don't get all pissy

Bloodknight 22

Tuesday 17 November 2009 23:18

Think positive, you can do it!

alexandraa_fml 0

Tuesday 17 November 2009 23:21

You mean DOO it.

MK1029 0

Tuesday 17 November 2009 23:19

Why would a girl take laxatives? Girls don't poop...

StaticDown 0

Wednesday 18 November 2009 13:04

I don't know what is it with guys but girls do poop, why do you think we have an orifice just like you? It's there for a reason... I bet you any girl on here can support my statement. You might find it gross but it's the sick sad truth, you better get used to it if you plan on having a gf!