Today, I had dinner with my family for the first time in a couple of days. My mum and dad spent the majority of the time arguing whether salt or pepper weighed more. This is why I'm not home often. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spent my first day with my parents for the first time in a year as I've been away at university. My dad went to work, and my mum spent the whole day playing mahjong with her friends as they all told me "how fat I've gotten" and how "boys won't like it". FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, I made a nice meal for myself and sat down to eat. Suddenly, my dad burst into my room saying, “We have to go.” This isn’t the first time it’s happened, nor was it an emergency. My family just doesn’t tell me when we have plans. FML
Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML
Today, I went to visit my parents. Dad went on a religious tirade, and Mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told Mum to go to her room and pray. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML
Today, after spending over $1000 on plane tickets, I'm visiting my family for the first time in five years. Two hours after I arrived, everyone is screaming at each other and taking their rage out on me. They still ask why I never visit. FML
Today, I spent hours cooking an amazing dinner for my family, who had just gotten home from a trip, so we could spend some time together because I'd started to miss everyone. When they got home, they saw it all laid out and just took plates to their room, without even telling me they were home. FML
Today, I asked my parents why we hadn't been out to eat as a family for so long. Both mom and dad agreed, so we made plans to go have breakfast at the Waffle House. Upon arriving, Dad threw a tantrum in the restaurant over nothing, and insisted on yelling at us the entire time. Guess I got my answer. FML
Today, my mother-in-law came over for dinner. She decided to salt the food I was preparing without even tasting it first, then complained at dinner that I'd used too much salt. She then lectured me on the proper seasoning of food for the rest of the evening. FML
Today, I've been staying with my parents while I have time off from school. They got drunk and started an entire family fight because my dad made pizza and my mom is lactose intolerant. She insists my dad did it on purpose because, "he's an asshole and knows I can't eat cheese." FML
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Top comments
Aspen_Grace33 27
Welcome home!!!! My parents do the same crap and what's funny is even when we google the answer or whatever they keep arguing. Lol
DocBastard 40
My father would have beaten the shit out of me had I dared to tell him to shut the **** up. Fortunately I have this thing called "respect" for my parents.
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Comments (130)
Alex1014 0
You should shoved the pepper and salt into her mouth and left:DYOLO
Zomg_Okay 27
You Only Lack Originality?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
If I find you, YGTBD. You're Going To Be Decapitated.
Webslinger66 10
Your lucky. I live at home and never get invited for dinner.
dominic1221 6
Do you never get invited to lessons on homonyms either? Or do you just turn the invites down?
lolfood 24
I
SqueakyChipmunk 22
J?
KatieKupcake4195 9
Like a couple have said, you're lucky. I don't have a mom or a dad. Biological parents ditched me when I was a baby and my beautiful adoptive mommy died about a year and a half ago. I'd KILL to have my mommy back (never had a dad so I'm used to not having one). Anyway, go enjoy dinner with your parents while you can. Don't let a silly little "argument" over salt and pepper get in the way of valuable time with your loved ones :)
docscientist 10
That's sort of a silly expectation isn't it?
DelphiCat 17
Constantly listening to your parents argue can stop them being your loved ones. I hated my parents with every fibre of my being by the time i moved to uni. I love them now, but only because i don't have to listen to them argue every minute of every day (i'm pretty sure they still do it, they dont like each other, but at least i no longer have to listen). OP is right not to go home too often, or he may start wishing one or both of them would meet a horrible accident so that he can get their life insurance and some peace and f***ing quiet. Not that i thought that *cough cough*.
KatieKupcake4195 9
Well I never had to deal with my parents fighting as I only had my mom, so I'm lucky that I never had to deal with the fighting. But many of my friends's parents and my boyfriend's parents are divorced so I do understand somewhat. I'm sorry for those of you who had to deal with fighting and such.
Tempest559 12
Whatever there on sounds fun, I'll take two.
boshiboshibom 1
Haha that's family for ya, sometimes they're a little crazy. At least you don't live at home anymore :D
_MidnightLuna_ 17
What in the world makes you think they don't live at home anymore? They said they haven't had dinner with their family in a couple of days, meaning they probably do live at home.
missnuthin 10
probably salt.
missnuthin 10
oh.. and my mom and brother have similar arguments too. I think the latest one was how baby carrots are made. also, this is why we invented smart phones that can get onto google and wikipedia.
odoh1224 0
Are you serious? Salt easy! One of your parents is a ******* retard
Kibaruto 33
Can I add a fourth option? Nutella. Not a spice? I don't care. Your arguments are invalid, it is the tastiest and heaviest.