Today, I had dinner with my family for the first time in a couple of days. My mum and dad spent the majority of the time arguing whether salt or pepper weighed more. This is why I'm not home often. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spent my first day with my parents for the first time in a year as I've been away at university. My dad went to work, and my mum spent the whole day playing mahjong with her friends as they all told me "how fat I've gotten" and how "boys won't like it". FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, I made a nice meal for myself and sat down to eat. Suddenly, my dad burst into my room saying, “We have to go.” This isn’t the first time it’s happened, nor was it an emergency. My family just doesn’t tell me when we have plans. FML
Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML
Today, I went to visit my parents. Dad went on a religious tirade, and Mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told Mum to go to her room and pray. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML
Today, after spending over $1000 on plane tickets, I'm visiting my family for the first time in five years. Two hours after I arrived, everyone is screaming at each other and taking their rage out on me. They still ask why I never visit. FML
Today, I spent hours cooking an amazing dinner for my family, who had just gotten home from a trip, so we could spend some time together because I'd started to miss everyone. When they got home, they saw it all laid out and just took plates to their room, without even telling me they were home. FML
Today, I asked my parents why we hadn't been out to eat as a family for so long. Both mom and dad agreed, so we made plans to go have breakfast at the Waffle House. Upon arriving, Dad threw a tantrum in the restaurant over nothing, and insisted on yelling at us the entire time. Guess I got my answer. FML
Today, my mother-in-law came over for dinner. She decided to salt the food I was preparing without even tasting it first, then complained at dinner that I'd used too much salt. She then lectured me on the proper seasoning of food for the rest of the evening. FML
Today, I've been staying with my parents while I have time off from school. They got drunk and started an entire family fight because my dad made pizza and my mom is lactose intolerant. She insists my dad did it on purpose because, "he's an asshole and knows I can't eat cheese." FML
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Top comments
Aspen_Grace33 27
Welcome home!!!! My parents do the same crap and what's funny is even when we google the answer or whatever they keep arguing. Lol
DocBastard 40
My father would have beaten the shit out of me had I dared to tell him to shut the **** up. Fortunately I have this thing called "respect" for my parents.
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Comments (130)
mrgud 3
Some ppl need to learn what is density and stop making stupid comments about weight
conqueror57 11
Now you're confusing density and mass. What Matters in this argument is mass.
FatTony2010 4
Happy Families :)
Eureka17 7
Ask them a kilo of iron would weigh more or a kilo of Cotton! lol. I m sure they would answer Iron. Which is incorrect!!!! ( Mind you - both will weigh same , it's the quantity which will be different!!!)
milob92 5
I know the feeling.
mrlopez 13
OP, try to shake up, or perhaps spice up the conversation a bit. It'll help to ease the salt-n-peppa argument that's weigh them down.
lmfb07 0
Aww
Rocky007 15
The sugar comment is the cleverest reply ever on FML. Way to go.
Zacham 5
cherish the time you have with them. I used to not come home for similar reasons but my mom died recently and now I can't if I wanted. cherish the time.
cheer4everever 0
Do u have siblings?
hewro_failure 11
I say salt ...